A lot of times I would go to work and I would feel like a fraud. I would feel like an imposter and I would want to, you know, quit and go watch Netflix and eat ice cream for the rest of my life and of course I couldn't do that and I was

forced through that experience to grow kicking and screaming but I did and the great thing was that this what I was forced into was this beautiful story of this real life hero Ernest Ernest Shackleton, who had an ability to just be present always,

to be present in the moment, to never give up hope.

And he had this belief, this relentless belief that optimism is a form of moral courage.

And so I was living in that every day, and that was so helpful.

It was a freaking God send for me.

And going through that, and then months later,

when we're in the performance,

and at the climactic moment of the show I'm

standing at Ernest Shackleton and my character are standing on top of a mountain

peak and we hear in the distance the whistle of a whaling station.

And for us, that means we found civilization and we're saved.

We don't know how we're going to get down there,

but we know that we will.

And the sense of full joy and aliveness was so palpable in that moment every night and I realized that it was there it was

there was that peak aliveness feeling that Cindy Loper feeling same thing

except it wasn't just intermittent like this was actually happening

consistently every night and I realized that I was onto something with this, that it was something

that had to do with the creative process. It was a onto something

with the creative process.

It was about being in the moment,

it was about facing directly into fears,

...