This is 99% invisible. I'm Roman Mars.

Let's start with some Pittsburgh humor.

This is comedian Tom Muswell on W.D. V.E. in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

It's my dad's birthday a few weeks ago,

and I thought, you know what, I'm going to get something really nice for my dad,

something he's really going to like.

So I got on this GPS system, you know?

One of those nice ones with the sexy voice that talks to you while you're driving.

Right.

I'm like he's gonna love this thing.

Tom's dad, a lifelong Pittsburgher, couldn't make heads nor tails of the GPS's

directions because I am told no one in Pittsburgh actually calls anything by its official name.

It's not Interstate 376, it's the Parkway, it's not the Liberty Tunnel, it's the Tubes.

So the joke goes, it's the tubes.

So the joke goes, looking to help his dad out.

Tom downloaded a special plugin that makes the GPS device give directions like a

Pittsburgher.

Get on a Parkway going towards time. a under a railroad track and you're making a left and a right at the same time.

Go past that crazy church up there on stilts.

Make a right and if you go past where Swissville High School used to be you went too far.

We're used to be, yeah. You have to know where stuff used to be, otherwise you're in trouble.

Sometimes the stories of what used to be can have more meaning than what's actually here now.

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