Exterior, Duluth, Minnesota, Duluth Mega Mall day.

The scene opens up on an establishing shot of the Duluth Mega Mall.

Text on screen reads December 23rd, 1255 p.m. Cut to interior, Duluth Mega Mall, same time. In the

mall, every inch is filled to the brim with Christmas decorations, holiday music is lazily spilling

out of different stores, children smiling and laughing, munching on food court goodies. The

centerpiece of the mall's holiday cheer can be found by the life-sized hungry hamster

nativity scene, where the 14th annual Mall Santa Wet T-shirt contest is just about to kick off.

The crowd is packed around the contest stage, upon which an announcer bellows about the beauty

and sex appeal of seven of the nastiest, sluttiest, fattest, ugliest, and hottest Mal Santas in the city.

And here are your gorgeous Mal Santas! Look at those Satan Nix! Ouchy, Mama, ladies, and germs!

Sensational! The camera lovingly pans over the Rubin-esque bodies of these fine Santas, who pose seductively on stage for the crowd

of onlookers and ho ho it up by doing twerks in a sexy dance, like a super sexy, sexy dance,

and one of them is stuffing pennies under his foreskin.

Above them is a giant pig trough filled to the brim with egg knot attached to a candy cane

colored string that, when pulled, will drench these Santas in that eggnog.

All present are, also present are a group of handsome, strong, tough, buff men that seems strategically and tactically staggered among the crowd in order to blend in with the civilians.

As the announcer continues vamping, the camera punches in on one member of the crowd in

particular. Sergeant Jack Frost, with his awesome blue hair and kind of blue face, dressed head to

toe in regular clothes, an M6, MK16 scar, 12 Apostle-Bandolier, and Kevlar vest, easily blending in with the

crowd. He puts his finger to his earpiece.

Yukon.

Any sign of the HVT?

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