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TRASHFUTURE

*UNLOCKED* Ingest Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way

TRASHFUTURE

TRASHFUTURE

Comedy

4.7935 Ratings

🗓️ 17 February 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We've unlocked this bonus episode! We've had a perfect storm of illness among the entire cast and it became impossible to record this week, but we'll be back later in the week with a new bonus, and will have a new free episode next week. Riley, Nova, and Hussein chug some down some heavy metals, talk about rare earths, ChatGPT’s OTHER other detour into porn (before curing cancer), and the slow death of neoliberalism. Then, Wired does some crucial journalism: talking to Cybertruck owners who all need to find polite ways of saying they have a “getting yelled at” fetish.

Transcript

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0:00.0

All right, so it's all lead.

0:17.4

Apparently it's just there's lead.

0:19.9

Okay, that's why everyone's like this. I've been wondering and it's so, I'm so glad that

0:25.5

we have an answer to why everyone is kind of stupid and angry all the time. Yeah, or more

0:30.9

specifically why being stupid and angry sort of so correlates with being obsessed with health.

0:36.4

Well, because the thing is, I thought it was like a chump.

0:39.5

I thought this was kind of a multivariate process in the kind of rise of 21st century

0:45.1

fashion.

0:45.8

There were any number of reasons why everyone was stupid and angry, but it turns out that

0:51.1

all of the kind of pre-workouts that the people have been doing, that's all cadmium,

0:55.8

just loose cadmium powdered.

0:57.7

Lead is very dense.

0:59.0

How do you expect me to pack on mass otherwise?

1:00.9

Come on.

1:01.8

And so obviously, all of the chuds who go and do CrossFit and do technically zero pull-ups,

1:08.1

but it looks like a lot if you don't count form, they're all filling up on heavy metals before they go and do that. And that's, that's going to sort of be part of the reason why they are the way they are. So it's nice to know that not only are our enemies sort of ontologically evil, but they're also biologically evil. That's, that's nice. That's reassuring to The funny thing is, you know, there's, look, I'm going to get into this actually because I've been thinking a lot about, a lot about trade recently. You know why you've been thinking about it a lot is because you don't do a lot of, like, workout powders. Yeah, that's true. I guess if you, if you have enough workout powder, then most of the time you just like, you think of like the racial composition of your neighborhood.

1:47.8

You think of like what you would do to like someone if they broke into your home.

1:52.3

Yeah.

1:53.0

And you get sort of angry at the TV a lot.

1:56.3

It's not a nice existence is the thing.

1:58.6

Like as much as it seems to involve a lot of kind of venal kind of satisfaction of your

2:04.0

kind of lizard brain, it doesn't seem to bring them any pleasure, you know?

...

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