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What Drives You with Kevin Miller

Understanding What The Extraordinary Relational Tool Of Validation Is & Is Not w/ Caroline Fleck

What Drives You with Kevin Miller

Kevin Miller

Education, Relationships, How To, Social Sciences, Nutrition, Life Sciences, Spirituality, Medicine, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.41.4K Ratings

🗓️ 21 July 2025

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

As you may have heard on previous episodes here, I’ve grown a distaste for the concept of validation. It seems everyone wants to talk about their feelings and perspectives and then claim their right to be validated, even if their feelings and perspectives are incredibly misguided and harming themselves and others. I began putting my focus on self-validation and fulfilling the need internally instead of looking to others. It turns out, I wasn’t totally off base, but I was missing out on an opportunity to connect with people. I found out by having a deep conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, which you are about to hear. Caroline is a licensed psychologist and a world-renowned expert on the topic of validation, and her new book Validation: How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life has already been translated in nine different languages. Caroline has an M.A. and PhD from the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and has become a highly respected voice in psychology which finds her featured in national media outlets, such as The New York Times, Good Morning America, and The Huffington Post. When I got the request to have her on the show, I replied back to her personally, sharing my reservations, and asked if she was game to discuss my skepticism on validation. She was, and I got great value and insight into what validation is and is not, and how I can better use it to authentically connect with people, even if I do not at all align or support their perspective. I believe you’ll find great value here. drcarolinefleck.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome. I'm Kevin Miller. This is a podcast for your personal evolution. In this episode,

0:06.9

understanding what the extraordinary relational tool of validation is and is not.

0:15.3

So as you may have heard from me on previous episodes, I've been struggling with this concept of validation, actually

0:22.8

grown a distaste for the concept. It seems everyone wants to talk about their feelings and perspectives

0:27.9

and then claim their right to be validated, even if their feelings and perspectives are

0:33.2

incredibly misguided and maybe harming themselves and others. So I began putting my focus on self-validation

0:39.9

and fulfilling the need internally instead of looking to others. Well, it turns out I wasn't totally

0:45.3

off base, but I was missing out on some opportunities to connect with people. I found out by having

0:52.7

a deep conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck, which you're about to hear.

0:57.5

Caroline is a licensed psychologist and a world-renowned expert on the topic of validation. She's got a new book called

1:04.3

validation, how the skill set that revolutionized psychology will transform your relationships, increase your influence,

1:11.8

and change your life. It's already been translated into nine different languages. Caroline has an

1:16.9

MA and a PhD from the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University. She's become a highly

1:22.7

respected voice in psychology, which finds her featured in national media outlets such as New York

1:27.2

Times,

1:27.7

Good Morning America, and the Huffington Post. When I got the request to have her on the show,

1:32.8

I replied back to her personally, sharing my reservations and asked if she was game to discuss

1:38.4

my skepticism on validation. And she was. And I got great value and insight into what validation is or can be

1:48.1

and what it is not and where I was off base with some of it. And now how I can better use

1:54.4

validation to authentically connect with people, even if I don't align with or support their

2:00.1

perspectives.

2:05.4

So I believe you'll find great value in this discussion as I did.

...

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