Northern California, far from the hypodermic needles and human fecal matter of San Francisco, lies a majestic redwood forest, untouched by civilized man.

It is here that people travel the world over, hoping to cataclymse of the elusive Sasquatch.

Known by many names across the globe, Yeti, Wendy Goe.

Here, we know him simply as Bigfoot.

Why that's a curious racket? Perhaps he got into a beehive.

Maybe he got his hands on some of that methepnphetamine on which the locals are so keen.

Who's that tapermand? Is that General Eisenhower?

No. It's Bigfoot himself. He found the man-skate lawnmower.

That's right. The lawnmower groomer from Man's Skate. It features a premium 7,000 RPM motor with quiet stroke technology.

It's also waterproof. From the future and can take on your toughest courses' hair, especially where it matters most.

Like those sensitive, unmentionable areas.

Tell me handsome friend. You think that contraption could shave one of those San Francisco beat-knit grobs?

Well, it just shaved an entire Sasquatch, didn't it?

Oh, Bigfoot. That's for another day, my friend. For another day.

June 18th. Pike's Peak Center, Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Prepares. For the funniest show on Earth.

Look, I just... I just don't understand why you gave the money back after you shot the clerk.

What was the point? Well, at this... Look.

I know this is new to you a little bit, and I appreciate that you're now more conscientious.

But this has been conservative my whole life. It's not conservative.

Yeah, it's about fiscal responsibility. It's a free kill.

No, you wouldn't understand. It's a thrill kill. You don't even have money. You left the money there.

...