Under Siege (1992)
Shat the Movies: 80's & 90's Best Film Review
Shat on Entertainment
4.6 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 7 November 2018
⏱️ 79 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Everyone has that phase they'd rather not talk about. For some, it's when they wore JNCO jeans. For others, it's when they thought that two-tone ska tattoo was a good idea; or when dating skaters seemed cool.
If the 1990s were a woman, Steven Seagal would be the phase she wishes she could forget.
But we're braver than that, so we're diving into his best work, "Under Siege," to see if there's anything we can salvage from the murky depths of bad action flicks.
Big D, Roger Roeper, and Gene Lyons also cover masturbating to Cher, stealing tags from lingerie, Gary Busey's magnificent insanity, proper bomb-making, proper accent usage, and improper ways to treat young actresses.
Ponytails, a peacetime military, horrid costuming, and the worst Navy Seals since Panama are pitted against hilarious one-liners, charming Tommy Lee Jones, and bizarre fight sequences in this clear "Die Hard" ripoff.
Seagal sucks at fighting, movie posters, and telling the truth, but we can't entirely hate him. Find out why in this swashbuckling edition of Shat the Movies, and stay tuned for a super sexy Shatout from Gene.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Do you believe like are we that old to where we remember when she was a quasi sex symbol? |
| 0:06.7 | I'm that old that I was 12 years old and had to look at a 43 year old woman on TV to |
| 0:11.6 | masturbate so like that's the best we could do. |
| 0:15.0 | Like, oh, you didn't find anything behind the dumpster this week? |
| 0:17.1 | You're jerking off to share. |
| 0:20.1 | Remember when we first met John McLean? |
| 0:22.8 | Our god will pick him up from the plane |
| 0:25.3 | and took him down the Nakatomi Tower |
| 0:28.4 | at the Christmas party. |
| 0:30.4 | And the terrorists were overzealous, but it was sweet when they killed Ellis. |
| 0:35.0 | And with a little help from Alan |
| 0:38.0 | John Merckett, |
| 0:39.0 | The Movies of the Podcast, where we answer the question, |
| 0:41.0 | with the movies we love and growing up really that good |
| 0:43.3 | have you ever got yourself thinking why do they make movies like they used to can you |
| 0:47.3 | still remember spending your Friday night searching for the perfect movie Rental a |
| 0:50.1 | blockbuster video do you even remember what blockbuster video was? If you answered yes and this is the |
| 0:54.7 | podcast for you, I'm one of your three hosts Roger Roper and alongside me on my two co-hosts, Big D. |
| 1:00.7 | De Keybert. Good evening. |
| 1:03.4 | And Jean Ryback Lyons. |
| 1:06.5 | What kind of babbling bullshit is this? |
| 1:08.9 | And each week we take a look back in time |
... |
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