Ugly Babies, Gerber’s New Twist, & Trivia Showdown
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 3 March 2026
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s daily comedy show, we bravely tackle one of society’s most sensitive topics: not every baby is cute. There, we said it. Inspired by the newly announced Gerber “Behind the Baby” photo search (yes, it’s back and yes, parents now get included), the gang debates the real question — do “ugly” babies actually grow up hotter? Is there a cosmic trade-off system? And should Gerber lean all the way in and create an “Ugly Baby Line” just for the laughs? We’re asking the real parenting questions here.
The 2026 Gerber Baby contest is officially open, offering $50,000 for ages 0–3 and $10,000 for ages 3–5. You just need one photo and a 200-word story about your kid’s “everyday victories.” Simple. Unless your baby peaked at three weeks old and now looks like a tiny angry accountant. Then what? We break down the new twist, the stage-parent energy, and why shaped heads apparently matter more than anything.
Then it’s time for Simpleton Trivia — aka 45 seconds of public humiliation. Listeners can either answer 10 rapid-fire questions themselves or gamble on Moon, King Scott, or Jamie pulling it off without spiraling into chaos. Spoiler: thermostats are not thermometers. Chloroform is not what plants breathe. And Madonna being called the “Queen of Pop” caused way more tension than expected.
We run through baseball questions, St. Louis pride, rock trivia, Harry Potter, sports, and enough pop culture curveballs to make everyone sweat. Some callers bet for the guys. Some bet against. Some sound like they’re about to cry on live radio. It’s beautiful.
We also celebrate a buffet of random March 3rd holidays — National Cold Cuts Day, National Canadian Bacon Day (which Canadians insist is just ham), Soup It Forward Day, and the deeply terrifying “What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day.” Because nothing says a responsible daily comedy show like imagining your dog opening cabinets.
And of course, we wrap by debating the greatest TV show of all time (Breaking Bad? The Wire? Fight about it in the comments) before pivoting into which U.S. state is the fittest — because we like to emotionally damage multiple demographics per episode.
It’s celebrity gossip, weird news energy, trivia chaos, Saint Louis pride, and pure Rizz Show nonsense — exactly what you expect from a daily comedy show that refuses to take itself too seriously.
Laugh with us. Roast us. Bet against us. Just don’t submit your baby unless you’re emotionally prepared.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Rizzuto. |
| 0:01.4 | Rizuto. |
| 0:02.6 | Man in my day, I've seen some really ugly babies. |
| 0:05.5 | What? |
| 0:06.4 | Haven't you? What's wrong with you? Yes. Not every baby's cute. Ah, they're all beautiful. Nah, not. Some of them are horrible looking. Some of them are horrible looking. Horrible catchers mitt, awful. Yeah, I always say that. A newborn baby looks like a catcher's mess. but here's the crazy thing is most of the ugly ones, they turn out to be the beautiful people. Okay, everybody, you don't get a full house. I don't give you no full house. Look, you peak too early. Sometimes. Three months. Sometimes you're dealt with something that's, yeah, I mean, think about that. What's the cutest baby you've ever seen? All of my children. Oh, Well, now I can't finish what I was going to say. See where again? They all wind up like weird, you know, weird features. I don't know. I'm telling you, the ugly ones end up pretty cute. And the super, you know, the Gerber baby models are just busted. It's back. Arch Madness. |
| 0:59.4 | Archmadness.com is the home for the State Farm MVC men's basketball championship. |
| 1:01.1 | Yes, Arch Madness. |
| 1:02.5 | A St. Louis tradition. |
| 1:05.1 | March 5th through the 8th at the Enterprise Center. |
| 1:08.4 | Celebrating the 50th year of heart racing excitement. |
| 1:12.0 | The last 36 years have been right here in St. Louis. Five decades showcasing buzzer-beaters, madness, and championship glory. Don't miss out on the Family Fun Pack, |
| 1:17.4 | presented by 101 ESPN. Four tickets, four sodas, four popcorns for 105 bucks. Check out the 12 Missouri |
| 1:24.3 | Valley teams including Illinois State, Indiana State, Drake, Bradley, Belmont, |
| 1:28.9 | who just secured the number one seed, University of Illinois, Chicago, University of Northern |
| 1:33.5 | Iowa, and more. Get your tickets now at archmadness.com. All right, St. Louis, Real Talk. After those |
| 1:39.8 | storms last year, my roof was a disaster, and I didn't want the headache. So I called the happy roof |
| 1:44.8 | company, and I couldn't be happier. Because, yeah, a roof job is loud, it's chaotic, and they were |
| 1:50.1 | on it. They didn't just drop off a crew and disappear. Communication was tight the whole way. |
| 1:55.4 | And the biggest thing, they helped me handle all the insurance company stuff. That alone |
| 2:00.1 | saved me a ton of time and a ton of |
| 2:02.1 | frustration. Now the roof looks gorgeous, clean lines, solid workmanship, high-end materials. It |
| 2:08.2 | looks like it belongs on the house, not some patch and prey repair. And they back shingle roofs |
... |
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