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The following content is explicit.

It's Monday, May 21st, 2018, from slated to the gist I'm Mike Pesca. To Hawaii we go.

We're officials awarding residents to watch out for lava. Lava.

Do we need the officials with the official lava warning, the lava watch, the lava threat level indicator?

I hope it's always at orange, bright glowing orange. It's lava! It's about as threatening as... as lava!

Lava seems to be the touchstone, not literally I hope, for other things that are unquestionably dangerous.

There is no wiggle room with lava. When you're a kid and you stood on the couch and you didn't want to touch the floor, what was the floor made of?

Lava! Or maybe sharks. Are we ever going to see anyone on the news say, well the lava was approaching us, but we thought we could just go up and you know, pet it.

No one thinks your lava is going to be the molten hot, bad lava. Now we all think that... that's what all lava is like. It's very, very hot. It's really quite hot.

It might be slow, but it is lava. Even if Hawaiians are blasey about threats since that incoming missile thing turned out to be a whoopsie do.

Well, there's lava coming at you. That cannot be good. This isn't like cholesterol or ladybugs. There is no good lava. Lava, it's slow, it's steady, and it's quite hot.

It is the quintessential question of not if but when. And the when might be for quite a while. I mean, lava is not going to sneak up on you. You do have time.

But that really the time, the temporal element, it's really the only subjective part of lava. When lava does come you just gotta get out.

That said, there is something else that's bothering me about how the media is treating this lava. It's referenced in this report from Reuters.

They also warned of lays formed when lava hits the ocean to create hydrochloric acid and steam embedded with fine glass particles.

Did you hear that? Lays? Lays? Here's NPR expounding as NPR is want to do.

Many are saying it sounds like a war zone at a state park. The lava entered the ocean at two points, producing a hazardous mixture of hydrochloric acid, steam, and fine glass shards known as lava haze or lays.

Lava is lava plus haze, you know, HAZ? No, Hawaii. No, no, no, no, no. You cannot name this deadly molten shard confection lays. You already have lays and it is fundamental to your tourism industry and your tourism industry is your bread and butter or your bread and poi to be locally accurate.

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