TV Star Bethany Joy Lenz On Lessons Learned Escaping A Cult & Narcissistic Abuse: “I Had To Forgive Myself”

The Liz Moody Podcast

Liz Moody

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 November 2024

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz knows a lot about cults – from personal and professional experience. While she stared in a show about cults, Bethany found herself in the Big House Family church covenant, a bible study group-turned-cult that isolated her from her family and peers. Joining a cult is much easier than you might think, and incredibly smart people join cults often. According to Bethany, cults like the one she joined prey on your desire for community, approval, and deep conversation. They use these desires as tools to isolate. But any narcissist will use the same tools, so it’s important to recognize them at work, in family, and in relationships. Hear Bethany’s journey to recovery in her faith and relationships, and learn how she redefined her life. 05:06 Craving Approval From Others 07:24 When Community Becomes A Cult 12:57 Isolation and Rebuilding Relationships 18:31 How Narcissists Gain Your Respect 22:13 Us vs. Them Mentality 26:35 Learning How To Apologize 29:33 Relearning Relationships 33:08 Brutal Honesty For more from Joy, follow her at @msbethanyjoylenz or her podcast, Drama Queens, at @dramaqueensoth. Find her new memoir, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While also in an Actual Cult!) where books are sold. Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s new book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! To join The Liz Moody Podcast Club Facebook group, go to www.facebook.com/groups/thelizmoodypodcast. Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody, or subscribe to her newsletter by visiting www.lizmoody.com. If you like this episode, check out How To Identify & Deal with Narcissistic Parents, Romantic Partners, Coworkers/Bosses & More with Dr. Ramani Durvasula. This episode is sponsored by: Seed: go to seed.com/lizmoody and use code LIZMOODY for 25% off your first month. Molly’s Suds: go to mollyssuds.com/LIZMOODY and use code LIZMOODY for 20% off. MasterClass: go to masterclass.com/LIZMOODY for up to 50% off. The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy. Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast. This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 283. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Joy, welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. When you're untangling narcissistic
0:04.6	abuse, you think it's you. I'm the one that's the problem. Maybe I'm the narcissist. Maybe I'm the one
0:09.9	that's actually been creating all of these problems and I'm fooling everyone and myself. My therapist at
0:15.6	the time told me, are we ready to call it a cult? So when does it switch from just like a beautiful
0:20.6	communal experience to something that's a cult?
0:23.4	It's going to be different in every environment, whether you're in an abusive relationship and you're being love bombed and then you start to see the cracks, whether this is your family dynamic, a toxic work environment, or a spiritual group like mine was, that gets classified as a cult?
0:37.4	That's why it's
0:38.0	so important to be vigilant. Is your belief system devaluing other people? Or is it still giving
0:43.1	them the dignity of their humanity? Hello, friends, and welcome to the Liz Moody podcast, where every
0:48.3	week we are sharing real science, real stories, and realistic tools that actually level up every
0:53.9	part of your life. I'm your host,
0:56.1	Liz Moody, and I'm a best-selling author and longtime journalist. Let's dive in. Joy, welcome to the
1:01.6	podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. I was just telling you how absolutely stunning your book is.
1:06.8	I just, it's such a well-told, well-written, beautiful story. I really appreciate that. Thank you.
1:11.7	And thanks for taking the time to read it and have me on the show. I'm thrilled to be here.
1:15.0	Let's just start off with what inspired you to start telling the story. I know it can be really hard.
1:20.5	There can be a lot of shame, a lot of different emotions wrapped up in sharing these harder
1:24.9	experiences that we go through. So can you take us back to the first time
1:27.8	you started talking about that? I started talking about it really just in my close personal friend
1:32.8	circles. And the more accepted I felt by my closest friends that I, you know, the new relationships
1:41.1	I was developing, the less scary it became. And I think that's probably true
1:45.1	for any type of shame. If you find one or two people, you can say it out loud to and get it out
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Liz Moody, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Liz Moody and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.