So, tonight's talk, maybe to start by sharing a brief story this summer,

spending some time with some friends, and one was a woman who,

when she was 35, her husband died of brain cancer,

and it was a very deep love and a huge loss.

And because I'm writing and teaching a lot about true refuge,

I asked her the question through this, through this incredibly deep pain.

What did you take refuge in? What helped you?

So, I asked that question a lot. What helped you? What got you through it?

She told me that they, when they got the diagnosis,

clearly they're only, at the most, they knew that he had about six months, not long.

And so, she said what got her through it was that she basically said to herself,

no matter what, I don't want to have any regrets.

On the flip side of that, of no regrets, is I really wanted to live this true to my heart.

I really want to show up with kindness.

And that was her mantra, this walking it through with no regrets.

And it's what guided her when he was in a whole lot of pain

or when he was unreasonable, which happened,

or when she was exhausted or despairing.

And some part of her said, okay, what does it mean to really live this moment with no regrets?

And in a way, when I say the word take refuge in,

in a way, it means what do we need to remember to reconnect with?

And for her, that remembering or reconnecting was,

...