4.8 • 649 Ratings
🗓️ 25 February 2025
⏱️ 24 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Feeling stuck, frustrated, or like nothing you're doing is working? Discouragement is part of every growth journey—but how you handle it determines whether you break through or give up.
In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals the hidden reasons why we feel discouraged and how your mind is wired to shut you down when challenges arise. Learn the powerful questions you must ask yourself to shift from discouraged to determined and keep making progress toward your goals.
If you've ever felt like giving up, listen now—this episode could change everything.
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We’ve all been there: feeling excited, optimistic, and ready to take on the world, only to face moments of discouragement. The truth is, on any growth journey, there will be highs and lows. The key to lasting success lies not in avoiding those lows but in how you handle them when they come.
The Power of Staying in the Game
Just like in investing, success in confidence-building isn’t about timing the market—it's about time in the market. In other words, consistency is what matters. If you’re committed to growing your confidence, it’s not about doing something quickly and checking it off your list. It’s about staying in the process, even when things get tough.
But here’s the catch: the more action you take, the more likely you are to face discouragement. That’s by design. When you start actively putting yourself out there—whether it’s in dating, your career, or speaking up more in meetings—you open yourself up to setbacks. And when those setbacks happen, that discouragement can feel like a ton of bricks.
Why Does Discouragement Hit So Hard?
Discouragement hits hardest when you start to face your fears and take risks. When you’re playing it safe, like I did in my own life during my battle with social anxiety, you can avoid discouragement. But once you start stepping up, putting yourself out there, and truly engaging in the process, discouragement is inevitable. Why? Because there’s a part of you—the safety police—that wants to avoid discomfort at all costs. When you try something new, especially if it’s a risk, that part of you freaks out and says, Whoa, stop, stay small, stay safe.
That’s when the discouragement feels so intense. It’s designed to make you stop, retreat, and never try again.
Shifting Your Response to Discouragement
Here’s the crucial point: How you respond to discouragement will determine how far you go on your confidence journey. If you give in to it and retreat, you’ll never see the growth you want. But if you can push through and keep going, that’s when the real transformation happens.
To break through discouragement, here’s what you need to do:
Name What’s Happening: When you feel discouraged, recognize it for what it is. Acknowledge that the discouragement is real but doesn’t define you. It's just part of the process.
Get Compassionate with Yourself: Take a moment to connect with yourself. Put one hand on your chest, one on your belly, and take deep breaths. Acknowledge the discouragement with compassion—Yeah, it feels tough right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m stuck. Then, shift your focus.
Ask the Key Questions:
The power of answering these questions lies in the fact that when you connect with your deeper values and purpose, your discouragement fades into determination.
Your Action Step
If you're feeling discouraged right now, perfect timing—this is exactly when you can apply these tools. Take a moment to ask yourself: What’s a goal I really care about? Answer the questions above honestly. The more connected you are to your “why,” the stronger your resolve will be to push through challenges.
If you’re not feeling discouraged at the moment, think of a goal you’ve been working on, and run yourself through the same process. You’ll be amazed at how clarity and determination come flooding back.
The road to confidence isn’t always easy, but when you stay in the game and choose to keep going, you’ll look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. Keep going, and don’t give up—you’re building something extraordinary.
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0:00.0 | Welcome to Shrink for the Shy Guy. |
0:05.0 | This is the show for you if you are sick and tired of being held back by fear, self-doubt, |
0:10.0 | social anxiety, shyness, anything that's stopping you from you being you. |
0:15.0 | I'm going to share the most powerful tools and resources that I've been discovering over the last 15 years on my |
0:21.9 | journey to eradicate social anxiety and instill confidence, first in myself and then in every |
0:28.5 | single person that I meet on my journey. You're going to learn these tools and how to apply them |
0:33.1 | in your life now so that you can become the most free, powerful, bold, authentic version of you. |
0:43.4 | Welcome to today's episode of the show. Today I am excited to share something with you that I think |
0:50.2 | will be really helpful if you're feeling discouraged. |
0:58.7 | And you may or may not be feeling as you're listening to this episode that way. |
1:02.8 | But good news, bad news, is you will. |
1:04.8 | Yay, everyone loves to hear that. |
1:08.3 | But that's the unfortunate or maybe fortunate truth of it, right? |
1:12.5 | Is there's going to be times along any growth journey that you're going to feel excited, possibility, enthusiastic, ready, optimistic, |
1:17.8 | and then at times you're going to feel discouraged. |
1:21.9 | And when we're discouraged, that's the time that what you choose to do matters even more. Because when things are |
1:34.5 | going well and you're optimistic, you don't, you're not needing to choose as much. It's like the |
1:41.7 | next step is obvious. And you're thinking, oh, this is going to work. |
1:45.7 | And so you try something and it works. So great, great, more. And we get some momentum and we feel |
1:49.7 | good. But when we're discouraged is when we can make choices, we can make decisions or |
1:56.2 | conclusions that can significantly negatively impact your growth. |
2:03.4 | And so it's especially important. |
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