Turn Conflict Avoidance Into Courageous Conversations | E340

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 13 March 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you feel like your partner shuts you down or tells you whatever you want to hear in order to stop a conversation that makes them feel [anxious / tense / criticized / fill in the blank] even though that is not your intention? Or do you get emotionally flooded even *thinking* about having an honest conversation about something that is really bothering you because you worry will lead to upset feelings? My friend: No matter what side of this you're on, this episode is for you! If you or your partner have a tendency to avoid conflict in your relationship, this episode will help you explore why that is, why it’s a problem, and what you can do about it. This one is important: unresolved conflict can be very damaging to relationships in the long term, and learning how to have those courageous conversations is the answer to keeping your relationship healthy and strong. Join me! With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com PS — You can find more advice on building the skills to keep your relationship healthy and strong in my “Communication that Connects” collection of articles and podcasts.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bavi, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success
0:06.2	podcast. Conflict is a normal and even healthy part of every relationship, but not easy to do.
0:15.7	It can be very tempting to avoid conflict, and avoiding conflict can in itself lead to a lot of relationship trouble.
0:26.3	So how can you stop avoiding conflict and start navigating it with compassion, courage, and
0:33.8	skill? That is what we're talking about on today's episode.
0:45.6	So fun. This is Lawrence Guy with this track. You do your best to hide the good parts of yourself. That is actually what the song is
0:57.4	called. And I chose it because sometimes avoiding conflict really is actually hiding the very
1:06.9	best, most authentic and bravest parts of yourself, believe it or not. So hold on to that
1:14.4	idea. We're going to come back to it. And in the meantime, you can check out Lawrence Guy and
1:20.1	see more about what he's up to on his bandcamp page. Lawrence Guy, Lawrence with a U-L-A-U-R-E-N-C-N-C-E-G-U-I-B-N-C-U-I-B-C-B-G-U-I-Ban-C-T-E.
1:33.3	Today's episode is all about something I know that so many of you struggle with in your
1:40.2	relationships, either within yourself or because you are experiencing this with your
1:46.8	partner or someone else you love. And that is conflict avoidance. I tell you, I see this all the
1:54.5	time. Many of my couples counseling clients will come to see me for the first time.
2:00.1	You know, sometimes after they've had a
2:01.8	terrible, terrible fight, right, that it can be the catalyst for their arriving in my office.
2:08.0	They're scared to death. They're like, is this over? Is our relationship ever going to be the same again?
2:13.2	You know, it's been bad. But it is equally true, probably even more true, that there's a
2:21.3	different catalyst for people showing up in the marriage counseling office. And that is when
2:26.0	they are not able to have productive conversations or, aka, conflict, about things that matter. You know, they are actually actively
2:40.2	avoiding talking about things, at least with one partner. And because of that, their relationship
2:48.6	is really, really struggling as a result.
	...

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