Tuesday, 05.09.23
Church of Lazlo Podcasts
Audacy
5 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 9 May 2023
⏱️ 94 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Breaking news! Rumor has it that Patrick Mahomes is about to get a raise. Lazlo says he deserves it. *Trump was found liable in the E Jean Carroll case and has been asked to pay $5 million. Trump says it's a kangaroo court run by out-of-control liberals. *We're learning more about the Texas man who shot up an outlet mall last weekend and killed 8 people. We say we want to know about these murderers and what motivates them but the more we learn, the more we're confused. *Doomscrolling!! A Texas republican is having a bad week, after reports surfaced that he'd given alcohol to and slept with a 19 year-old aide. The FDA may soon make Opil birth control available over the counter. New guidelines for parents to follow regarding social media. Lazlo thinks Tiger Woods should just pay off his ex. Two inmates escaped prison by cutting a hole in the fence and no one noticed they were gone for almost a full day. Ed Sheeran says his guitar playing helped him win in court. Liz Cheney put out a new ad begging people not to vote for Donald Trump. *Julia is on the show!!! Our old friend gets us caught up on the biggest celebrity news, including Taylor Swift and Matty dating rumors, plus Julia gives us her take on the Britney Spears book that's coming out soon. *Thanks for listening to the podcast! Please tell a friend and remember to hang out with us on twitch every weekday afternoon (link below). Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. |
| 0:11.0 | Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness. |
| 0:18.0 | For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children. |
| 0:24.0 | And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious hinder those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. |
| 0:35.0 | And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. |
| 0:42.0 | Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Las Vegas begun. |
| 0:48.0 | Yo! Yo! What's going on? How are you? I'm good, man, you. |
| 0:52.0 | I'm good. I see the... I was on my phone earlier in snowcone here on Twitter a lot. |
| 0:57.0 | That's all the top trending thing was Patrick Mahomes. I didn't see it. |
| 1:01.0 | I was like, oh, what do you do? I'm thinking it's something to do with... |
| 1:04.0 | Lazel mentioned the Met Gala or whatever it was yesterday, you know, best dressed and worship. |
| 1:07.0 | Oh, is that Kentucky Dirty? Right, right, right, right, right. |
| 1:09.0 | I was like, what is it? One of these things? |
| 1:10.0 | You know, there's a whole Britney Mahomes subreddit. |
| 1:16.0 | That does not surprise me. I think it's called Britney Mahomes snark or something. |
| 1:20.0 | Because when I was looking through, when they were giving like, |
| 1:23.0 | who were the best and worst dressed, it was some sports website. |
| 1:26.0 | And then they had a link to that subreddit. |
| 1:29.0 | And I clicked on it and it's just page after page after page of like, |
| 1:34.0 | look how horrible this woman dresses. Yeah. Look how horrible of a person. |
| 1:39.0 | I'm like, my God. Look, yes. Does she annoy me sometimes? |
| 1:44.0 | Yes. But she's not, doesn't seem like a bad person. |
... |
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