Welcome to the Total Soccer Show.

It's our holiday episode in which we're celebrating this season by giving out gifts to players and teams across the beautiful game.

Will we be as generous at giving gifts as wolves are as generous at giving their opponents points?

Let's find out.

My name's Ryan Bailey joining me today.

He's got a beard. He likes

wearing red, and he might break an enter into your home this week. Hello, Taylor Rockwell. How are you?

You nailed it all. You know what I learned this week? Do you know that Santa traditionally

doesn't wear red? That that's a creation, a modern creation. What's that grand?

Coca-Cola created. Coke, right? Yeah. Right? I did not know this. Sounds like you all either learned it at the exact same time or have known for a long time. Not sure I feel about it. Do know that Joe unintentionally quoted diehard and I like that. So, nicely done, Joe. Yippicay. There we go, yeah. Taylor, just for the record, we all did know. We were just keeping it from you. Yeah. Yeah. He actually, he wasn't supposed to find out, guys. Graham, did you tell? Graham told, I can tell. Look at his face. He actually, Santa actually wore a vintage Fiorantina early 90s shirt, I believe.

The one with Nintendo on the front.

Nice.

He goes back to Stuta running around, house to house. Classic, yeah. Very good. This is before my time. But you know, like, the Phoebe Kate's scene coming out of the pool is, like, the iconic scene. Mm. Yeah. If she came out of the pool in a vintage shirt instead, would that, like, have, that would have been more, more enthusiastic response to Graham more likely? Oh, pinned on my wall as a teenager. In Graham, see, she's putting the shirt on, though. That's the difference. Yes. That's it. Very good. Is it Hummel? Oh, my goodness. Wow. What a time to be alive. I'll round up my introductions. You just heard his voice there. It's a man who's keen to analyze Santa's XP, his expected presence this Thursday. Joe Lowry, hello. Thank you for joining us. I don't know if I like that or not. Yeah, no, I think XP on today's episode is very, very high. I've got a whole bag full. Taylor, before we started, said he had 20, 30, 50,000 presents. So, I mean, there's going to be a lot. Yeah. Very good. Definitely not four hastily hands-scrawn messages. Should be good. Good. Can't wait.

Rounding out the pack, you heard his voice also.

Coming at us from Scotland, it's father slabhead's little helper, Graham Rutherman.

Hello.

Hello, Brian Bailey.

Yes, that's what we call him around this neck of the woods.

I think geographically closer to Santa Claus, so he'll drop off his presence first with me before he gets to you. I hope he

still has, somebody hasn't run out. That would be a shame. Taylor, new computer maybe for you this year.

Yeah. Recording shutdown in multiple ways in the last episode, which hopefully will be salvageable.

You'll know if you hear about Major League Soccer this week that it was salvageable. And if not, yeah, I guess the elves need to start doing some soldering and the like, because we're going to need a new computer over here, stat. Taylor's computer has been naughty, but we're going to be very nice in this episode. We're giving out gifts to the world of soccer and sundry. Taylor, before your computer

...