Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your

most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical

wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world.

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

Try not to give them anything extra.

We all have issues. We know that. Our goal is fathers, as we've said

before, is not to pass them on to stop the cycle of dysfunction. It's a low bar to be sure,

but it's an important one. Don't let the demons you wrestle with find softer targets in your

children. But even more than that, don't let your demons invite new ones

to the party. As best we can, we must not inflict more damage and create more issues. The Philip

Larkin poem expresses this tendency so perfectly. They fuck you up your mom and dad. He says they might

not mean to, but they do. They fill you with faults they had and add some extra just for you.

The Buddhists spoke of samsar, the way that suffering transfers from generation to generation.

Why is it that suffering rarely ever fully discharges from a generation, leaving the next one to flourish unhindered?

It's because we don't do the work. It's because

sometimes we're not even aware of our own suffering. And when we are and we still don't do the work,

it's often because we tell ourselves that we're helpless. Look, we're going to screw up. It's inevitable.

We are imperfect people, so it's impossible that will raise perfect kids. Still, that doesn't

mean we're helpless against the demons knocking at our door. We can work on ourselves. We can go to

therapy so that maybe they won't have to. We can try to be healthy so they'll grow up thinking

that's normal. We can try to move on from our own anger and frustration and pain so at the very

least,

...