It's Wednesday, March 5th. I'm Jane Koston, and this is Waddey.

The show that did not expect President Donald Trump to become Bizarro Oprah.

Scholarships, Secret Service badges, wildlife refuges.

It's all happening.

On today's show, we're talking about President Trump's first speech to the American people.

And the speech was, well, it was a speech.

The longest joint session speech in history, and you felt every single minute of it, with lots of capital letters.

It was a speech in which Trump emphasized that contrary to what you, me, Texas

Democratic Representative Al Green, or millions of people think, everything is actually awesome,

super awesome, except for Democrats who are mean. I look at the Democrats in front of me, and I realize

there is absolutely nothing I can say to make them happy or to make them

stand or smile or applaud. Nothing I can do. It was a campaign speech, which is weird because the

campaign is over. It's been over, but not for Donald Trump, who felt the need to bring up former

President Joe Biden, Stacey Abrams, and the nation of Lesotho.

He brought up Biden a whole lot, actually, in the context of the economy, which he described as being way, way worse than I seem to remember, and immigration.

The media and our friends in the Democrat Party kept saying we needed new legislation. We must have legislation to secure the border.

But it turned out that all we really needed was a new president.

Ew. But we did learn some fascinating, brand new, super fun things.

Like that apparently trans kids are one of our biggest

threats, a thing I absolutely do not believe for a goddamn second. We learned who really runs

the Department of Government Efficiency, and despite what you may have heard from attorneys at the

Department of Justice, it's who you think.

...