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Hysteria

Trump’s Architectural Indigestion

Hysteria

Hysteria

Society & Culture, Politics, News

4.77.1K Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2026

⏱️ 93 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Erin and Alyssa catch up on Pete Hegseth’s bizarre intervention into service members' promotions, new congressional efforts to regulate prediction markets, and what the f– is going on with Kristi Noem’s husband. Then they give an Architectural Digest-style tour of Trump’s absolutely bonkers plans for his ballroom. The show wraps up in the Sanity Corner.

For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.

Defense Secretary Hegseth intervened to stop promotions of Black and female officers (NPR 3/27)
Lawmakers Press to Limit Prediction Bets by Policymakers (NYT 3/26)
US abortion rate holds steady largely due to travel and telehealth availability – report (The Guardian 3/29)
Trump’s Ballroom Design Has Barely Been Scrutinized (NYT 3/29)
Secret double life of Kristi Noem's cross-dressing husband Bryon: The pouting 'busty bimbo' photos and trove of explicit messages (Daily Mail 3/31)

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hysteria is brought to you by Zbiotics. What's one small shift I've actually maintained this year?

0:05.7

Reclaiming my mornings. I realized a night of function cost me an entire day of productivity. So my shift

0:12.0

is planning a balanced night out to ensure a high quality morning after. I rely on Zbiotics pre-alcohol

0:17.7

to support that goal and keep my social life and wellness goals aligned. Zbiotics pre-alcohol probiot support that goal and keep my social life and wellness goals aligned.

0:21.7

Zbiotics pre-alcohol probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic.

0:27.2

It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking.

0:31.9

Here's how it works.

0:33.0

When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut.

0:37.3

It's a buildup of this byproduct,

0:39.4

not dehydration that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre-alcohol produces an enzyme

0:44.5

to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night,

0:49.5

drink responsibly, and you'll feel your best tomorrow. Erin, every time I have pre-alcohol before drinks, I notice that the next day when my alarm

0:58.4

goes off, I actually kind of get up.

1:01.1

I don't hit snooze 10 times, which is a problem at this age because one wrong snooze and

1:06.9

you're waking up at 11 o'clock.

1:08.5

There is no hitting snooze in my life.

1:11.0

I must wake up when the child decides that it is time to wake up.

1:16.0

Your human alarm.

1:17.2

Yeah, my human alarm.

1:18.4

And usually that's between, on a good day, it's like around 6, 6.10.

1:23.1

If she holds on until like 6.30, it is like a real luxurious morning.

1:28.9

So I don't really have an option. I can't not have a social life. So on the few times that I do go out and see my friends,

...

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