In this world there's two kinds of people, my friend.

Those with loaded guns and those who dig.

Broadcasting from a Montana Wilderness Fortress at the Headwaters of the Missouri.

This is Matt Christensen Live.

Late last night, at my direction, the United States Armed Forces conducted an extraordinary military operation in the capital of Venezuela.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got them.

To bring outlaw dictator Nicholas Maduro to justice.

Every step you take, I'll be watching.

For the campaign of deadly narco-terrorism against the United States,

going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper, and judicious transition.

The oil business in Venezuela has been a bust, a total bust.

We're going to have our United States oil companies start making money for the country.

You are fake news.

Why is running a country in South America, America first?

Very fake news.

I don't know what Trump is doing. That's not even cool. Like, why do they do that? It's not against the law. Fuck you. Stop being such a pussy. I've become friends with school shooters. Wow. All right. America, go to the YouTube right now. Skagg free, wherever he is Dup tape all over the place, it's a disgrace.

Five, four, three.

I can't do it.

We'll do it live.

Fuck it.

We'll do it live.

Hello and welcome to the show.

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