Jesse Gold saw some of the first signs of her depression back when she was in college.

We kind of put the bar at, well, I'm getting good grades so I'm fine.

I'm still seeing friends so I'm fine I'm still seeing friends so I'm fine and I was very much

that kind of person for a long time until really I kind of blew it off until I couldn't anymore.

And some friends and some family members

were like, you need to go talk to someone about this.

And I saw a therapist for the first time

in college my junior year. Ultimately, Jesse was able to get help,

but says the experience of finding treatment simply wasn't easy.

And that's what motivated her to become a psychiatrist,

an assistant professor at Washington University in St. Louis.

Like I want to be a safe space for people to get help where they don't feel like that experience.

Like a lot of people are asking for help for the first time in college and I don't want them to be like

scared to do it. I don't want them to have an experience where they don't understand what's going on and I don't want them to

feel like for some reason they did it wrong.

Today she's in her mid 30s and Jesse is busy helping her students and her patients

with some of the same struggles she experienced in her own life, and she's been really open about the journey.

But during the pandemic, something happened.

Dr. Gold says she started to do some reflecting and realize there's one part of her therapy journey she's never been as open about.

I've been on medication for years at this point, no changes, same meds, they work for me.

I haven't really had an episode of depression in years like I don't understand why I'm

Hiding that in some capacity

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