Thank you.

Very sweet.

Thank you.

I haven't heard that kind of applause since I used to table dance for money in the 80s.

Happy Thursday, everyone.

So a grand jury declined to indict the DC man accused of hurling a sandwich at a federal officer.

Wow.

Apparently, the case got thrown out because someone ate the evidence.

Yeah.

There you go.

Thank you, Chris.

The Trump administration will allow up to 600,000 Chinese college students to enter the U.S. over two years.

Experts predict that while America's average GPA is expected to rise, so will car insurance rates.

Oh, racist would say.

We love you, Chinese people.

Cracker barrel has now removed its gay pride page from its website after receiving backlash

for going woke.

I'm not saying they're going overboard, but the page now redirects you to the closest

hooters.

Yeah, three in a row. The mayor of Washington, D.C., says carjackings have dropped an amazing

87% since Trump's crackdown on crime. But it's causing Trump to worry that it might cost him the carjacker vote.

Trainers at an aquatic zoo in France have to manually stimulate a whale to prevent him from trying to mate with his mom.

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