Trailblazers in Love: Understanding & Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community with Jeff Lutes – Replay – (286)
Therapist Uncensored Podcast
Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD
4.7 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 2 December 2025
⏱️ 86 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A replay episode from our powerful interview with Jeff Lutes, this discussion dives into raising families, the evolution of the community, allyship, gender, and the importance of advocacy.
Click Here to View the Original Episode Shownotes
“There are a lot of therapists that see themselves as affirming, but I think you have to get actively involved in
order to be an ally.” – Jeff Lutes
Time Stamps for Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community
2:00 – Jeff’s anecdotes about religion and sexuality
11:18 – How advocacy can be a thankless job
12:00 – Introduction to the Contemporary Relationships Conference
14:34 – The difference between being trained in accepting versus educated
16:48 – The importance of knowing the correct terminology
20:39 – What we can learn from the polyamorous community
22:58 – Definition of queer and who that represents
24:37 – Let’s talk about pronouns
31:21 – Explanation of dead naming and why it is wrong
42:15 – Conversion therapy research and findings
47:00: Trailblazers in Love, Jeff’s book
Resources for today’s episode Advocating for the LGBTQ+ Community
Jeff Lute’s Website – Information, credentials, presentations and publications
Contemporary Relationships Conference – Conference information and proposals
Get your copy of his book, Trailblazers in Love, here!!
About our Guest – Jeff Lutes, LPC
Jeff specializes in creating collaborative conversations with clients that generate new possibilities for change. Using a postmodern approach, he listens carefully to each client’s story and strives to understand how they might make meaning of themselves, others, and the world around them. He founded the Contemporary Relationships Conference and has presented to audiences around the country, including the American Association of Marriage & Family Therapy, the American Family Therapy Academy, the American Counseling Association, and the Texas Psychological Association. He is also the author of Trailblazers In Love, as well as chapters in three counseling textbooks. Lutes also wrote a children’s book about adoption, deaf culture, and non-traditional families and has been a contributing writer at Bilerico and Therapy Matters.
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | You know, I think it's just really important that family members, first of all, are patient |
| 0:06.8 | and understand that there's no one way of coming out. And, you know, some people come out on |
| 0:13.1 | Facebook to thousands of friends and other people go through a very long process of figuring out |
| 0:20.3 | who they think at least will be the safest person. |
| 0:23.1 | And maybe that's the only person they tell for months before they try someone else. |
| 0:28.1 | So to be very patient and allow that person to have their own process of coming out and to not force it, |
| 0:35.9 | to as a family member to try to learn as much as you can |
| 0:39.3 | about what it means to be part of the gay community and to kind of question maybe your |
| 0:45.3 | own biases and your own areas of blindness or misunderstanding about the topic. And then, of course, |
| 0:53.6 | just being willing, I think, to challenge homophobia |
| 0:58.4 | whenever you see it out in the world. When a workplace person tells an off-color joke or |
| 1:05.3 | makes an anti-gay comment or just even a microaggression, having the courage to speak up and maybe even express |
| 1:14.7 | that you have a loved one who's gay. Welcome to Therapist Uncensored. Building on decades of |
| 1:22.4 | professional experience, this podcast tackles neurobiology, modern attachment, and more in an honest way that's helpful in healing humans. |
| 1:30.3 | Your session begins now with Dr. Anne Kelly and Sue Marriott. |
| 1:40.8 | Hey, you guys, while we know relationships are wonderful, they are also really hard. |
| 1:47.1 | Many of us believe that they shouldn't be, that if we have good connection and good communication, |
| 1:51.9 | things will just go smoothly. But it's really that belief that can make us feel stubborn and even |
| 1:56.8 | more hopeless. So relationships take work. It does for Sue and I. We can make it look easy. |
| 2:02.3 | It's not. And one of the ways is because many of us, we differ. We differ in what activates us, |
| 2:07.6 | what makes us feel threat, the expectation. And it's these differences that are held in our body, |
| 2:12.9 | not our thoughts. And they influence how we talk, how we love, how we fight. So holding that belief, |
... |
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