If you pause,

pause and evaluate kind of your thinking patterns about your spouse,

are you mostly positive or mostly negative? We're going to talk about why it's

good to think the best of your mate. I'm John Fuller along with Greg Smalley and his

wife Aaron who lead the focus marriage team.

Greg let's role play just a bit.

So what's a good indicator that I'm thinking too many bad thoughts about my mate?

Yeah, I think it's how you started the program.

There's sort of a dominance of negative thoughts over the positive.

So if all I'm really thinking about are the things I don't like, thatrate me irritate me that's a great sign.

I think if there's just an automatic negative reaction when your spouse does something that you tend to just automatically take it the wrong way,

you're negatively reacting to them more so than the positive kinds of reactions.

That's another sign.

If resentment is building,

you're recognizing that that resentment is causing me to maybe not even try to communicate or if I'm now more

sarcastic snarky disrespectful in my communication I mean all that if there's a reluctance to spend time together,

I just avoid him or her because, you know, I just see them in such a negative light.

Physical symptoms, you might really be aware of some headaches and

fatigue when thinking about interacting with your spouse. So you kind of get that eye roll like,

all right, here we go.

Kind of stress.

Yeah, so I think all of that really is probably an indicator that I have developed negative

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