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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 490: Debbie & Sheryl Stoller Explore What to Do When Our Own Fear Gets in the Way

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.81K Ratings

🗓️ 19 February 2026

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today we’re exploring something so many of us wrestle with but don’t always name out loud — the impact of our own fear and anxiety on our kids. I was actually about to record a solo episode when my friend and colleague Sheryl Stoller sent me an email, and the sentiment behind it stayed with me because it put into such simple, clear language the real impact our fears about their future, their potential, their lives, can have on our kids. In this short bite-sized conversation, we’ll talk about how parental anxiety shapes family dynamics, why regulating our own nervous systems is such a powerful gift we can offer our kids, and how empathy, validation, and community support can help us move from fear toward connection.   About Sheryl Sheryl Stoller is a PCI Certified Parent Coach® who has devoted herself to coaching overwrought parents of children whose abilities, sensibilities, and behaviors go beyond expectations (gifted, twice/multi-exceptional) since 2009. This is a personal journey as well as an academic and professional one for Sheryl. She is deeply gratified to serve parents the way she had needed when her children were young. Sheryl integrates many fields of knowledge and training into her coaching. Most recently, she is receiving her Somatic Attachment Therapy Certification; and is a Positive Intelligence (PI) Mental Fitness Coach, through Shirzad Chamine out of Stanford University. Sheryl Co-Leads two communities of practice for PI – Parents and Families, and Neurodiversity; and has received rave reviews for her customization of PI for her “Aligned Parents” and “Get Mental and Emotional Fitness” Group programs for 2E parents. Connect with Sheryl at: sheryl@stollerparentcoaching.com   Things you’ll learn from this episode: How fear in parents can show up as anxiety — and how children often absorb and mirror that energy Why managing our own fears is one of the most powerful ways we can support our kids How empathy and validation create safety even when anxiety is present Why remembering that everything is impermanent can help parents regain perspective How focusing on past successes builds a child’s confidence and counters fear-based narratives Why community, positive imagination, and ongoing learning remind parents they’re not alone in this journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

The Philly Cheese Stack is back at McDonald's and it's still intensely cheesy.

0:04.0

Imagine the cheesiest thing ever. Now cover it in cheese. Add two beef patties, cheddar cheese sauce, crispy onions and even more cheese. The Philly Cheese Stack. Did we mention it's cheesy? Available until the 16th of March, 26, from 11 a.m. Fees applied to delivery orders. Price and participation may vary. Subjects availability.

0:26.6

I'm Debbie Reber and this is full tilt parenting. And today we're going to be talking about something that many of us wrestle with, but we don't always talk about it out loud. And that is the

0:31.4

impact of our own fear and anxiety on kids. This is actually a short, bite-sized mini episode, just long enough to

0:39.6

offer a quick nugget to reflect on and carry with you into your day. But I was actually about to

0:44.8

record a solo episode when Cheryl Stoller, she's a friend, a colleague, a parent coach in my

0:49.6

differently wired club community. She sent me an email yesterday, and the sentiment behind it really stayed with me

0:56.4

because it put into such simple, clear language, the very real impact that our fears about our

1:02.6

kids' potential or their future can have on them. And so I asked, would you mind jumping into

1:08.0

my record studio so we can just talk this through a bit? And luckily,

1:11.1

she said yes. So Cheryl Staller is a PCI certified parent coach and she's been supporting

1:16.4

parents of gifted and twice exceptional kids since 2009, bringing both professional expertise

1:21.5

and lived experience to her work. In this short conversation, we're going to explore how

1:26.9

parental anxiety shapes family dynamics,

1:29.6

why regulating our own nervous systems is such a powerful gift we can offer our kids,

1:34.3

and how empathy, validation, and community support can help us truly move from fear and

1:40.9

toward connection. Oh, and because this is such a short episode, I'm actually going to

1:45.5

pause for ad breaks right now. And when we get back, we'll get right to our conversation.

1:51.6

Birthday coming up? On Etsy, you can find your favorite person a gift as special as they are.

1:59.3

Celebrate Stylish Julia with a cute vintage jewelry box

2:02.4

or photography mat, Paul, with a customized leather camera strap,

2:06.8

or your caffeine-loving dad with a handmade pour-over coffee maker.

...

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