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TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 431: Rebecca Winthrop & Jenny Anderson on Disengaged Teens

TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.8 • 983 Ratings

🗓️ 25 February 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today’s conversation feels both important and timely, because they’re tackling a challenge so many parents are facing: how to help disengaged teens reconnect with learning. My guests are Jenny Anderson, an award-winning journalist focused on learning and parenting, and Rebecca Winthrop, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution specializing in education innovation. Together, they’ve been diving deep into the science of student engagement, and today, they’re sharing what they’ve learned about reigniting curiosity and motivation in kids who have checked out of school and their excellent new book, The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better. In our conversation, Jenny and Rebecca broke down why engagement isn’t just about academics—it’s an intricate mix of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral factors, often even more complex for neurodivergent children. We discussed the connection between technology and disengagement, why traditional models of education often fail to meet kids where they are, and how parents can foster curiosity by modeling a love of learning. Jenny and Rebecca also walked us through the four modes of learning and offered strategies to help kids switch from resistor, passenger, or achiever mode into explorer mode, which is the mode where kids learn best. One of the most powerful takeaways from this discussion is the reminder that resistance in learning doesn’t equal a lack of interest in learning—it’s often a signal that the context is not working for the student. Things you'll learn Every child deserves access to quality education, but disengagement, exacerbated by technology, has long been an issue Engagement is a dynamic mix of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral factors, often highlighted by challenges faced by neurodivergent children Parents can bridge the gap between school and real-world relevance by modeling curiosity and fostering the thrill of learning Disengagement today carries higher costs, making it vital to connect learning content to children’s interests and help them envision possible future selves Resistance in children can become part of their identity, but with emotional coaching and redirection, their agency can lead to growth Why staying emotionally connected, fostering curiosity, and engaging in meaningful discussions supports both academic and emotional development   Resources mentioned The Disengaged Teen (website) The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better by Jenny Anderson and Rebecca Winthrop Jenny Anderson’s website Rebecca Winthrop on Brookings Institute website Giving Some Kids Autonomy Has Surprising Results (New York Times article) How to Be Brave (Jenny’s Substack) Winthrop’s World of Education (Rebecca’s LinkedIn newsletter) Jenny on Instagram Rebecca on Instagram Cathy Adams on Navigating the Complexities of Raising Daughters (Tilt Parenting podcast) Restoring Our Girls: How Real Conversations Shape Our Daughters’ Lives, Help Them with Teen Challenges, and Remind Them That They Matter by Cathy Adams Lisa Damour The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents by Lisa Damour The Self-Driven Child with William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast) Daphna Oyserman / Future Possible Selves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

winter can be tough for so many reasons, and I'm not just talking about static hair that can't be

0:05.1

tamed and shocking my cat every time I touch them after walking across the carpet in my socks.

0:09.8

There's dry air, stuffy noses, itchy skin, and those persistent coughs and congestion.

0:14.7

I know there are endless products out there that claim to help, but I like to stick with

0:18.3

trusted reliable solutions that are simple yet effective.

0:21.2

For me, that's Vix. And I got to say, there's something so nostalgic about the scent of Vix.

0:26.3

It instantly takes me back to the comfort I felt as a kid when my mom rubbed Vix on my chest,

0:30.9

tell me clear out when I had a cough. Vix is the only humidifier brand that combines a cough suppressant,

0:36.5

soothing menthol vapors, and

0:37.7

hydrating mist to provide powerful relief from common winter discomforts like dry air, congestion,

0:42.8

and stuffy noses. Pairing VIX's vapo pads with their humidifiers enhances that relief with

0:47.7

the cooling sensation of menthol, while the added moisture helps soothe and ease congestion.

0:53.0

If winter air is tough on your family, VIX

0:55.0

humidifiers can make a real difference. Find the VIX Cool Relief, along with VAPO steam, and a variety

1:00.2

of VAPO pads on Amazon. There's a special offer on Amazon on the VIX Cool Relief Humidifier,

1:05.6

where you can get 20% off your purchase. Just go to Amazon.com and search VX V-V-U-L-600 Cool Relief Humidifier.

1:13.7

It has a blue tank with white in the center. Be sure to click the coupon to get the discount.

1:18.3

You'll need this for wintertime comfort.

1:20.4

Mental health and engagement go together, and it just depends which one starts which.

1:25.6

So if you're deeply disengaged, kids are much more likely

1:28.4

to have poor mental health, but also if something happens outside of school and they can

1:33.9

engage less, you get less engaged. So they kind of coexist. I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt

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