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TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 410: Ali Miller on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) & Navigating Couple and Co-Parenting Dynamics

TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.8983 Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2024

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, I’m excited to share my conversation with Ali Miller on how nonviolent communication (NVC) can help navigate co-parenting dynamics and couple relationships. When raising a neurodivergent child, there are often many opportunities for parents to disagree—whether it’s about the therapies to explore, whether or not to disclose a diagnosis to family members, or even if a diagnosis exists at all. These discussions can be tough and can definitely place a strain on the relationship. But with nonviolent communication, we can learn how to have conversations that feel like a win-win for everyone involved. Ali Miller is an expert in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and has been a marriage and family therapist for over twenty years. In 2021, she became certified as a Clini-Coach® specializing in couples communication. As an online coach, she helps couples worldwide improve their communication and conflict resolution skills, allowing them to experience more peace, passion, and possibilities in their relationships. In this conversation, Ali and I discussed what NVC is and why it’s a comprehensive model that supports all kinds of relationships. We explored how understanding our feelings—and more importantly, the underlying needs behind them—is crucial for effective communication. Ali also emphasized the importance of empathy and self-empathy in the NVC model, and shared how to express our needs to our partners without blame or judgment (while also acknowledging that this doesn’t absolve our partner of responsibility). This conversation truly highlights how NVC can transform conflict into connection by fostering empathy and understanding between partners. I hope you enjoy it!   About Ali Miller Ali Miller, an expert in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), has been a Marriage & Family Therapist for over twenty years. In 2021 she became certified as a Clini-Coach® specializing in Couples Communication. As an online coach, she helps couples all over the world level up their communication + conflict navigation skills so they can experience more peace, passion, and possibilities in their relationship.   Things you'll learn from this episode What nonviolent communication (NVC) is and why it’s a comprehensive model that can support any and all relationships How understanding feelings, and more importantly, our underlying needs, is crucial for effective communication The importance of empathy and self-empathy in the NVC model Why recognizing universal human needs can bridge gaps in understanding and foster true compassion and understanding How to express our needs to our partner without blame or judgment (and why it doesn’t mean our partner bears no responsibility)   Resources mentioned Ali Miller’s website Ali on Instagram Ali’s Private Facebook Group The 4 Steps to Stop Any Fight Without Giving In (free mini-course) Feelings and Needs Cheatsheets Ali’s Podcast: Love Each Other Better 8-Week Private Coaching Program for Couples — Stop Fighting! (without stuffing your feelings or sacrificing your needs) Marshall Rosenberg and the Center for Nonviolent Communication Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall Rosenberg Zach Morris on Nonviolent Communication and Whole Person Learning (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:25.0

When we're in that more heart connected place,

0:30.0

then we're in a much better place to be able to find strategies that address all of the needs that we've identified as opposed to

0:38.3

Getting stuck in where most couples get stuck like whose way is the right way and who's the way is the wrong way

0:44.4

and whose way is going to win out and who's going to lose and if anyone's losing

0:48.8

it's not going to be satisfying for either partner. I'm Debbie Reber and welcome to Tilt

0:56.0

parenting a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at

0:59.6

inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids.

1:03.7

Today I'm excited to share my conversation with Ali Miller on how nonviolent communication,

1:09.0

otherwise known as NBC, can help us navigate co-parenting dynamics and couple relationships.

1:15.7

We know that when raising a neurodivergent child, there are often a lot of opportunities

1:19.5

for parents to disagree, whether it's about the therapies to explore, or whether or not to disclose a diagnosis to a family member, or even if that diagnosis is accurate.

1:29.0

Discussions like these can be really tough and they can definitely place a strain on the relationship. But with nonviolent communication, we can learn

1:37.4

how to have conversations that feel truly like a win-win for everybody involved.

1:42.4

Ali Miller is an expert in nonviolent communication. like a win-win for everybody involved.

1:42.5

Ali Miller is an expert in nonviolent communication.

1:45.2

She has been a marriage and family therapist

1:47.3

for over 20 years, specializing in couples communication.

...

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