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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

TPP 347: Raising a Demand Avoidant Child or Teen (PDA), with Casey Ehrlich

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.8983 Ratings

🗓️ 31 October 2023

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’m really happy to be bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking for resources to navigate this especially challenging parenting journey. Oh, and in case you’re not familiar with PDA, it’s an acronym that technically stands for Pathological Demand Avoidance, though many people who identify as PDAers prefer the words persistent desire for autonomy. My guest for today’s conversation is Casey Ehrlich. In our conversation, Casey sheds light on how to approach raising a child with PDA at different stages, explores the differences between PDA and ODD, considers how burnout manifests in someone with PDA, and explains how a child with a PDA profile might experience a loss of autonomy and equality on a daily basis. Casey also walks us through her framework for supporting families with PDA kids and what it takes to find peace and acceptance in showing up for a PDA child no matter what. About Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. is a coach and educator to parents raising PDA Autistic children and teens and is the founder of At Peace Parents and a podcast by the same name. She is also the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. Casey brings her background in social science, methodology, and research to take an objective and non-judgmental approach to supporting families.She is currently conducting empirical research on Pathological Demand Avoidance with a faculty member at the University of Michigan and is raising two sons, one of whom is PDA Autistic. Things you'll learn: What PDA is, and how it overlaps (if at all) with ODD How burnout manifests in someone with a PDA profile and the overlaps between PDA burnout and autistic burnout Why people with a PDA profile experience a loss of autonomy and equality when demands are placed on them How Casey helps parents raising kids with a PDA profile What low-demand parenting actually looks like in practice Resources mentioned: Casey’s website, At Peace Parents At Peace Parents on Instagram At Peace Parents Podcast Free “Clarity” Masterclass Paradigm Shift Program Dr. Mona Delahooke Deconstructing Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Mona Delahooke blog) Dr. Dan Siegel Tina Payne Bryson A Conversation about Declarative Language and Co-Regulation, with Linda Murphy (Tilt Parenting podcast) Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways Dr. Melissa Neff on Pathological Demand Avoidance In Children (Tilt Parenting podcast) Polyvagal Theory Sensory Processing Disorder (Star Institute) Dr. Megan Anna Neff on Diagnoses and Misdiagnoses (It’s Complicated!) (Tilt Parenting podcast) Amanda Diekman and Low Demand Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

If you're listening to this podcast, it's probably because a child you love and care for is differently wired.

0:07.0

Are they also struggling in their current educational setting, seen only for what they're doing wrong, while longing for positive relationships with peers and others?

0:15.6

Envision a world where your child's unique abilities are not just recognized but celebrated.

0:21.0

A world where they can connect with others and their true potential is seen and

0:24.9

appreciated. The Strength-based Assessment Lab's mission is to build a world for your child just

0:30.7

like that. Through its innovative approach that aims to empower students, families, educators, and professionals

0:36.3

to create positive, effective, and collaborative learning experiences.

0:40.2

Be a part of shaping a brighter future for your child.

0:43.0

Visit W. bgs.edU to learn more about what a strength-based assessment could mean for your family.

0:51.0

That's BgGS. Edu.

0:54.0

Demand avoidance can be caused by lots of things, right?

0:57.0

Like, I don't want to get my shoes on because they hurt my feet.

1:01.0

Sensory.

1:02.0

I don't want to get my shoes on because I don't know which step in the routine it is.

1:08.0

Maybe that's executive functioning. I didn't understand I needed to get my shoes on social communication difference.

1:15.0

I don't want to get my shoes on because you told me to.

1:18.0

Survival Drive for autonomy, right?

1:20.0

So it's like we can see the surface level indicators but understanding that root cause is so important to support kids in the way that they need to be supported.

1:37.2

I'm Debbie Reiber and welcome to Tilled Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising

1:41.2

differently wired kids. I'm really happy to be

1:44.2

bringing another conversation about PDA to the show, especially as awareness and

1:48.9

understanding of this complex profile of autism is growing and more and more parents are looking

...

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