TPP 307: Eliza Fricker Talks Parenting a Child with PDA

Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 18 October 2022

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On today’s episode I’m talking to Eliza Fricker about PDA or pathological demand avoidance – and in fact I know many people interpret PDA as persistent desire for autonomy. I’ve done a few episodes on PDA before but never from a parent’s perspective so after reading Eliza’s book, The Family Experience of PDA, I knew I wanted to share her perspective with the Tilt community. During this episode, we talked about how demand avoidance is more extreme in a child with a PDA profile vs. the inflexibility and rigidity we might see in other neurodivergent kids, what Eliza has learned about herself parenting a child with PDA, and what her resistance was to the changes needed to her parenting style. Eliza also gave out some great tips for teachers who have a PDA student in their classroom and for parents who are struggling with family, friends, or people close to them who aren’t willing to understand what PDA is and what that means for their family.Eliza Fricker is the illustrator behind “Missing the Mark” a deeply personal and all too human exploration of a mother’s journey navigating the education system and everyday life with a child who can’t go to school. Eliza’s latest book, Can’t Not Won’t will be published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers in December 2022.Things you'll learn from this episode What makes demand avoidance more extreme in children with PDA Eliza’s experience in changing her parenting ways to become more flexible Tweaks teachers can use to work with children who have PDA in a classroom setting How PDA may look different than “typical demand avoidance” that we might see in some neurodivergent children What Eliza has learned about herself from parenting a child with PDA Advice for parents who are raising a child with PDA Resources mentioned for PDA Eliza Fricker’s website The Family Experience of PDA by Eliza Fricker An Intro to PDA brought to you by Harry Thompson and Laura Kerbey, illustrated by Eliza Fricker Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Facebook Eliza Fricker / Missing the Mark on Twitter Neurodivergent Education and Support Training (N-est) Harry Thompson’s website PDA of North America Alfie Kohn on Practicing Unconditional Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're listening to this podcast, it's probably because a child you love and care for is differently wired.
0:07.0	Are they also struggling in their current educational setting, seen only for what they're doing wrong, while longing for positive relationships with peers and
0:14.8	others?
0:15.8	Envision a world where your child's unique abilities are not just recognized but celebrated.
0:21.0	A world where they can connect with others and their true potential is seen and
0:24.9	appreciated. The Strength-based Assessment Lab's mission is to build a world for your child just
0:30.7	like that. Through its innovative approach that aims to empower students, families, educators, and professionals
0:36.3	to create positive, effective, and collaborative learning experiences.
0:40.2	Be a part of shaping a brighter future for your child.
0:43.0	Visit W.
0:45.0	BGS.ed.edU to learn more about what a strength-based assessment could mean for your family.
0:51.0	That's BGS.
0:52.0	E.D.U. family. That's BGS. Edu. You're living with an enormous amount of
0:57.6	uncertainty because you always have to be extremely flexible. So there aren't strategies that you can use
1:07.2	that are fail safe and you stick to those
1:09.8	and it's going to work.
1:11.4	It changes continually because within that you've also got a person who wants that
1:18.0	autonomy over their situation. So if there's any moment where they feel that that autonomy is being taken away from them
1:26.3	then they'll need to change that up again.
1:31.4	Welcome to Tilled Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at
1:35.8	inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids.
1:40.3	I'm your host Debbie Reiber. On today's episode I'm talking with Eliza Fricker about PDA, an acronym
	...

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