TPP 088a: Jessica Lahey Talks About the Gifts of Failure for Our Kids

TILT Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Debbie Reber

Education, Parenting, Kids & Family

4.8 • 983 Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2022

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more. Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons. Things you’ll learn from this episode The difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting" How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in them How we can build scaffolding for our kids What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachers Jessica’s advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in school How we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness” Resources mentioned about the gift of failure Jessica Lahey’s website The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey Why Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article) Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode) The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber Am Writing (Jessica’s podcast) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're listening to this podcast, it's probably because a child you love and care for is differently wired.
0:07.0	Are they also struggling in their current educational setting, seen only for what they're doing wrong, while longing for positive relationships with peers and
0:14.8	others?
0:15.8	Envision a world where your child's unique abilities are not just recognized but celebrated.
0:21.0	A world where they can connect with others and their true potential is seen and
0:24.9	appreciated. The Strength-based Assessment Lab's mission is to build a world for your child just
0:30.7	like that. Through its innovative approach that aims to empower students, families, educators, and professionals
0:36.3	to create positive, effective, and collaborative learning experiences.
0:40.2	Be a part of shaping a brighter future for your child.
0:43.0	Visit W.
0:45.0	BGS.ed.
0:47.0	to learn more about what a strength-based assessment could mean for your family.
0:51.0	That's BGS.
0:52.0	E.D.U's BGS. Edu.
0:54.0	Hey there, it's Debbie, and welcome to Playback Friday.
0:58.0	Every Friday, I'll re-release one of my favorite conversations from the archives.
1:02.0	Unless you're a long time listener of the show,
1:04.5	there's a good chance you haven't heard this one yet.
1:06.9	And even if you have, you just may get something completely different
1:11.0	listening to it this time around.
1:14.0	The big thing that Gift of Failure is about is about trying to get our kids back into a state
1:19.2	where they're intrinsically motivated to want to do stuff, not because we're dangling carrots in front of them or
	...

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