Have a seat on your porcelain throne.

It's time to talk some shit on the Powell Movement.

Welcome to the Powell Movement.

I'm your host Mike Powell, and I'm finally done with ski shows and emceeing events for a while.

And Snowvana Portland was another great way to get fired up for ski and snowboard season

and forget about all the bad shit in my life.

I met a bunch of folks who listened to the show, and when I talk to people who listen,

well, that's always really cool for me.

It was always great to see some old friends from high school and college too. There's something about those old friendships that feel so comfortable, and while I can't say these interactions made me truly happy again, for a couple of hours, I was content for the first time since June. What's so crazy is, I was able to get through the show, and I only cried a few times. One of them,

I was in the bathroom and another vendor walks in and he looks at me and he's like, the show's almost over, man, no need to cry. And I was like, yeah, I know, I'm just going through some shit right now. And then when I saw him later, he was like, wait, that shit was real, you were really crying? I was like, yeah, man, I've told you I'm going through some shit and he's like you look like you're having the best time out there and while it

really does look like that, I am the furthest thing from happy. It's all an act. Another vendor stopped me as I was walking through the venue and I stuck the mic right up into his face and he said into the microphone, what do you really like when you don't have a mic in your hand? It took all I had inside to not reply, I'm a very sad and lonely person because I don't want to bring the mood down at one of these shows. But that's the truth. And I can't fucking escape it. I mean, let's use yesterday as an example. I woke up to a text from a friend telling me that he saw Ange in a dream last night. So immediately I tear up and I think, I don't see

Ange in dreams. And that's how I start my day. And the next thing I do is I get on my bike and I listen to that Florence and the machine song. The dog days are over and I cry and I think about ants because that's just what I do every day. And one day I'm gonna be able to listen to that song and I'm not gonna cry, but that's what I do every single day. And then after that song's over,

I get to the one place in life where I can totally escape all the bullshit and that's having a podcast in my ear. And I don't listen to too many podcasts. I like the dopey podcast about drugs addiction and dumb shit. And I don't do hard drugs, but for some reason I really like hearing the tales of drugs and debauchery that other people do.

I won't do them myself, but for some reason I really like hearing the tales of drugs and debauchery that other people do. I won't do them myself, but I like those stories. I also like a show called crime and sports, and that's kind of the same thing, athletes who fuck up in the worst possible ways. And that's really me time, on the bike where I don't have to think about any of the bullshit in life that torture me, like my dead wife. But as I've mentioned before, this whole cancer thing, even though the battle is over, it keeps following me. And everywhere I go, there are reminders and triggers. But podcasts, well, those have been the one area where they can't come at me because I'm choosing what I'm listening to. But this week I'm listening to one of the shows

and then I get a podcast ad and it's a cancer one. And that's fine. I can totally deal with cancer ads.

But this time it's Ange's cancer doctor for the first two years. A dude who looks like Wayne Knight

from Jurassic Park, you know the dude who's known as Newman from Seinfeld. And I hear the voice in my

head. Hi, this is Philip Gold from the Swedish Cancer Institute.

Whoever the marketers are who are putting cancer doctors in these ads and these cancer

doctors can't save everyone, well, fuck off. Get them out of my head. That's the last thing I want

to hear when I'm on the bike or when I'm walking my dog or whatever. So I've got that

going on, and then I look down and I see my dog and his ears are bright red,

...