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Dial Emma

Toxic Complaining: How people-pleasing shows up at work

Dial Emma

Emma Reed Turrell

Society & Culture, Relationships, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.81.2K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2025

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome back to Dial Emma! Each week, I'll be answering your dilemmas with honesty, empathy, and a few therapeutic truth bombs to help you make sense of life's stickiest moments. If you've ever wished you had a therapist in your back pocket, Dial Emma is here to help.

This week, we explore a dilemma that will feel all too familiar to recovering people-pleasers: What happens when your efforts to support a struggling colleague backfire? Is it toxic complaining?!

Our listener shares the challenge of working with a teammate who constantly complains, leaving them feeling drained, excluded, and unsure if they’re somehow the problem. I unpack what's really going on beneath the surface, looking at people-pleasing patterns, emotional projection, and the complex dynamics that can make even the most positive workplaces feel heavy.

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt responsible for someone else’s emotional state—or who wonders if being “too helpful” might be doing more harm than good.

If you have a dilemma for Emma, please fill out this form. 

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Dial Emma is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Lauren Brook.

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Social media:

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Dial Emma @dialemmapodcast

Email: [email protected]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

At DFS, we know there are so many places to sit in summer.

0:04.0

Like a beach towel.

0:06.0

A picnic rug.

0:08.0

Gotcha.

0:10.0

Even a flying seat!

0:13.0

But the most important...

0:15.0

is the one you come home to.

0:18.0

And whatever your thing, whether it's relaxing on a recliner, chilling

0:21.9

on a Chesterfield sofa, or simply sinking into a sea of blue velvet. We've got just the thing

0:27.2

for you, DFS. What's your thing? Hello and welcome to Dial Emma, the podcast where your

0:34.7

dilemmas meet my therapeutic insights.

0:41.9

I'm Emma Reed-Torrell, psychotherapist, author, and well-recovering people-pleaser.

0:46.4

Each week, I'll be unpacking real-life questions from listeners just like you.

0:50.1

The big ones, the small ones, the ones that keep you up at night,

0:54.7

offering practical tools and gentle truths to help you find your way through.

0:58.3

So if you've got a question, you don't know how to ask out loud.

1:00.1

You've come to the right place.

1:17.6

This week's dilemma, I'm going to call toxic complaining because these were the words my lovely listener used and I think they say it all.

1:19.6

But let me start with the dilemma.

1:20.6

Okay.

1:27.1

I work closely in my team with a person who feels chronically overworked and stressed. In my opinion, this is due to her

1:29.1

lack of time management slash boundaries slash her outlook on life generally. Her vibe is she's

...

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