Hello, folks. How's it going? See, get the microphone correct. How's everybody doing out there?

You may be surprised to notice that this is not government secrets. It was going to be government

secrets, but we had a schedule issue. So we're not doing government secrets, but I couldn't, I couldn't leave you, couldn't leave you high and dry like that, you know? So I had to just bring you a regular live stream. And we'll see. It might be a little shorter than normal, but we'll do the, well, we'll do the thing. and it doesn't mean i don't have plenty of stories

because i always have stories just just piles of stories backing up considering we're in some

sort of fucking bizarre hellscape where you just open i'll pretend we open newspapers you just open

the newspaper and every story you're seeing you're like what in the holy hell hold on what

did you just there like every second story is just this is this is the onion right this is absolutely

the onion it makes you know considering i have you know onion-esque headlines on the on the bottom ticker here that I write,

it makes it harder and harder to write those.

Because I'm like, what could I write for these fake headlines that are any weirder than reality?

Legit, I wasn't going to cover this because it's not really a news story,

but legit, a Denmark zoo asked the community to bring their pets to feed the lions.

You can Google that headline.

Denmark Zoo said, if you're looking to get rid of pets, I don't know if they meant that their pet had recently passed or whether they meant you're just tired of your pets.

But they put out an announcement, look, we need to feed our tigers and our lions. their pet had recently passed or whether they meant you're just tired of your pets.

But they put out an announcement, look, we need to feed our tigers and our lions and our other such things, maybe a hippo here and there.

I know hippoes kill, hippos kill lots of like human beings and other animals.

I don't know if they, do they eat them or do they just eat like algae and shit?

But anyway, they legit announced, send in your pets and we'll feed them to the lions.

How do you know what's onion and what's not?

Anyway, that aside, government secrets.

We're going to do a rare Thursday episode.

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