'Too Close' by Next (w/ Horny Ben)

Punch Up The Jam

Headgum

Music, Comedy, Music Commentary

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 November 2018

⏱️ 90 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The HORNIEST song with the HORNIEST friend! Supremely sex positive Ben Cahn (@buncahn) joins his old pals Miel and Demi to break down Next's wildly requested secret boner jam, "Too Close" *THIS EPISODE IS SUPREMELY EXPLICIT, SEXY AND FUNNY LISTEN WITH CAUTION*

Unpunchable jams: "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by Elvis Presley, "breathin" by Ariana Grande, "Hot Thoughts" by Spoon

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a head gum podcast.
0:05.5	Uh oh wait, wait, what?
0:07.0	Do what you just did.
0:08.0	Introduce me as a professional wrestler?
0:11.0	Yeah, of course.
0:12.0	Oh, I always have to do it as I'm, as if I'm talking to Hulk Hogan.
0:17.0	Sure.
0:18.0	Hulk Hogan, I'm coming for you.
0:21.0	I think I'm doing Randy Macho Man Savage.
0:24.0	Oh yeah.
0:25.0	I think that's who that is.
0:26.0	First of all, Hulk Hogan, there's nothing you can do when I step
0:30.0	way into that ring with you.
0:32.0	All right, I'm gonna come up to you and I'm gonna slap your cheeks
0:36.0	with my dirty hands and I just had tacos for dinner.
0:39.0	They're still gonna be greasy, you understand?
0:42.0	Then what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take that really tank top you got on.
0:46.0	I'm gonna expose your titties to the world for everyone to see.
0:51.0	Then I'm gonna take them, I'm gonna slap them around a couple times.
0:55.0	Just to show the people just what you're made of, which is nothing.
1:00.0	I'm gonna take them, I'm gonna slam them into their ground and then I'm gonna
1:04.0	stop on your ugly balls until...
	...

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