Hey, gearheads.

This is Tom Myers, and I'm currently trying Auto Filatio.

That is when you put your back up against the wall, and you push your wiener as close as you can to your face.

You know, like my comedy only pleasurable for me.

Anyway, here's an actual funny guy, not a piece of human garbage who is home on a Saturday night trying to kiss his own glue shooter.

Blind Mike Geary.

To see, we're taking the subtle approach as always.

Yep.

Even the fake audience seemed hesitant on that one.

But yes, we have a lot to get to today.

Oh, my God.

We have to talk about a new rivalry is formed, apparently.

I tried to keep to peace.

I thought I had a friend.

I thought we made memories.

But we will get into why my heart has been ripped out of my

chest. It is truly sullying the greatest night of my life. It's been tarnished forever, and it's gone,

and I don't know what to make of it. I'm torn up inside. We'll get to that in mere moments. There's a lot of other

stuff to get to as well. But first, real quick, I wanted to give a shout out to the Corn Fairy

tour and the broadcast that Barstool is doing, Kirk's there, obviously. And that's the only reason

I would have paid attention to it. But I've been watching a bunch of the clips and they're doing what I've been saying for years.

Like that's what sports broadcasting should be.

...