Tom Bilyeu on THIS Is What it Actually Takes to Have a Happy Relationship | Women of Impact

Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory

Impact Theory

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4.7 • 5.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2020

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode was originally published on Impact Theory's sister channel, Women of Impact, hosted by Tom's wife Lisa Bilyeu. For more content like this be sure to check out Women of Impact on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. FOLLOW Women of Impact: Itunes: https://apple.co/39yUi0g Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3byliil Lisa's Instagram: http://bit.ly/3bBY6Q9 SHOW NOTES What does it take to make a marriage work? On this episode of Women of Impact, Lisa Bilyeu invites the person she most trusts to offer insight into that question--her husband of 17 years, Tom Bilyeu. And if nothing else, he’s certainly the only person she could reasonably ask to discuss his most embarrassing relationship stories. Over the course of the episode Tom and Lisa share their history and talk about how to build trust, why you need to keep your sex life alive forever, the extent to which you can influence your partner, and how to deal with changing roles in the relationship. SHOW NOTES: Why you have to choose the right person to be with in the first place [3:28] Your personalities can be different, but your values need to be quite similar [6:08] Tom discusses how easy it was to have differences when he wasn’t giving anything up [7:37] “I don’t even know who I am without you.” [13:24] To what extent can you change, manipulate or influence your partner? [14:13] You should never weaponize your knowledge of your partner [16:57] Lisa and Tom discuss the importance of defining words clearly [20:04] Tom talks about defining roles in a relationship [20:58] At first it was incredibly hard for Lisa to admit that she had outgrown being a housewife [25:04] Tom tells the story of how Lisa’s changing role affected him [27:20] Lisa and Tom discuss loving each phase of the relationship for what it is [32:36] You will always find other people attractive [35:19] Never take anything for granted, and keep your sex life alive forever [37:33] “Don’t make me feel bad for asking, and I won’t make you feel bad for saying no.” [41:48] Tom shares the story of how he and Lisa learned to not test each other or drop hints [43:02] FOLLOW TOM: WEBSITE: https://impacttheory.com INSTAGRAM: https://bit.ly/2UBHWjM FACEBOOK: https://bit.ly/2UMIFPj TWITTER: https://bit.ly/2SgF7TN

Transcript

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0:00.0	What's up everybody? What you're about to listen to is me on Women of Impact. This is the first
0:05.9	ever time that they've had a guy in the show. And Lisa and I had an amazing time recording this.
0:11.2	We cover all kinds of topics including how to make your relationship amazing, how to work with
0:16.8	your partner, communication, sex the whole nine. So be sure to check this out.
0:23.1	I think it's safe to say almost universally that every single human on a planet wants to be in love.
0:29.7	That heart fluttering stomach churning, head in the clouds, I can't believe it kind of love.
0:34.8	I mean Disney has made billions of dollars selling the fairy tale of happily ever after.
0:39.7	We spent close to 20 billion dollars for Valentine's Day to show our love for each other.
0:44.4	I mean there's even a drive-through chapel in Vegas that has got in on the love action.
0:50.2	Where there's a demand, there's a supply. And yet despite the fact that we all love to be in love,
0:56.7	we still find ourselves within an approximate 50% divorce rate. And that's just data on people
1:02.4	that chose to break up. Let's not forget the couples that agree to stay together out of convenience
1:07.6	or for the sake of the kids or the couples that are living in quiet desperation or the couples that
1:12.9	are suffering from bed death. Now I've been married for close to 18 years and I'm here to declare
1:19.0	it's freaking hard. No matter what Hollywood may try and tell us, arguments are not solved with
1:24.2	the romantic slow motion kiss in the rain or by molding a clay pot while an orchestra plays overhead.
1:30.0	It takes a willingness to take a hard look at yourself, to stare nakedly at your inadequacies,
1:35.3	admit when you are wrong and be willing to change. Be willing to communicate. Be willing to
1:40.4	open yourself up to being vulnerable. You must be willing to give to receive and to compromise.
1:46.6	So today I wanted to do a different kind of episode. I believe beyond anything else,
1:51.8	knowledge is power. And so I wanted to bring on a guest who can give us tips, tactics and their
1:57.6	own perspective on what it actually takes. Like no BS, what it actually takes to have a happy
	...

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