Hub and Spoke. Audio Collective. I'm going to be here.

Heh, heh, heh,

heh, You're listening to worry about death.

Often starting with the realization

that your parents aren't going to live forever,

then dawning into the knowledge of your own mortality.

I probably started thinking about death when I was

maybe seven years old, something like like that I remember pretty early running

downstairs with this idea of death and like jumping in my mom's arms and being

afraid and not being able to resolve it and maybe setting it aside then but then coming

back to it when I was 10, 11, 12, something like that and I started really to play with the

idea and really try and imagine it, especially at night.

You know, I think it's just like this natural intellectual curiosity that you have as a kid.

And so I would lay in bed and I would close my eyes so I couldn't see,

cover my ears so I couldn't hear, and then I would just lay perfectly still for as long as I could

so I'd lose the sensation of having a body.

But then you would think and in death the way I saw it, there are no thoughts.

And so then I would get really freaked out because, oh oh you can't even come close to replicating the

nothingness of death and that brought about all this panic so I set it aside and continue just going about my life on the tracks that were laid out for me.

That's Tom Tursich. And for Tom, those tracks that were laid out for him involved a pretty happy childhood growing up in suburban

New Jersey, going to school, playing sports, and hanging out with friends.

His anxiety about death was always there in the background and it bugged him but it wasn't

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