Here's a fun, strange, slightly offensive little special

we cooked up with the minds behind the Koch Brothers Mystery Show,

the best serialized podcast starring septogenarian billionaires

who are also boy detectives.

It makes sense in context.

Without further ado, let's get a little weird.

From Mars Paradoxica and Whisperford radio stories on the air, but it's the internet now, it's

Time Swimmers! It's the internet now time swimmers. Dateline, September 11, 2003, AD, Eastern Time. We find our hero and story protagonist, Dagbar Pomer nickel, locked in the basement

of the Pentagon. That dastardly dunce George W Bush has a tie to waterboard.

For nefarious waterboarding purposes, no doubt.

What villainy awaits young Pomernickel?

Let's find out today on time swimmers

not so time swimmers not so time swimming now are you suspected terrorist and story protagonist Dagmar Pumpernickel?

I told you I don't know nothing about no time swimmers.

Save your rich character tapestry is the daughter of an Italian mob boss who can't seem to separate herself from the family business while secretly harboring a desire to be a concert violinist for some other sucker.

Or else my name ain't George W Bush, President. and it's September 11th, 2003, and we're in the Pentagon.

Is this, are we on the same page here?

Yes!

Good, he he he he'll start talking. Never.

You know what they say?

Waterboard you once?

Shame on. shame on me.

...