When Your Parents oppose your engagement on this edition of Truth and Love.

I'm Heath Lambert and you're listening to Truth and Love, a podcast of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors,

where we seek to provide biblical solutions for the problems

that people face. Some of the most pain I've ever seen come into the lives of a family is when

there is disagreement between parents and their adult children about a marriage. Specifically

here, what I'm talking about is grown children who have decided that

they want to get married to somebody and their parents don't approve. Maybe the parents don't approve

because they don't think this is the right person for their child. Maybe they don't approve because

they don't think this is the right time for the marriage. But there is a conflict between parent and child. It's not about the conflict whether to date or not.

The conflict is about my child has been in this relationship and now they want to get married,

and we think that is a bad idea. And it pits parental authority against the growing freedom that adult children desire to have,

and it can really create a firestorm of conflict.

So Heath, given what you've just said, what would be a good biblical framework for how to think

these things through?

I think one text that captures the

tension on this is Ephesians chapter 6 verses 1 to 4. It says, children obey your parents in the

Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,

so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the

instruction of the Lord.

In this text, on the one hand, you have parental authority.

Obey your parents, honor your father and mother.

On the other hand, you have fathers bring up your children. So there is real live parental authority,

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