Three Lies We Believe When We Love An Alcoholic
Love Over Addiction
Michelle Anderson
4.8 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 8 March 2020
⏱️ 6 minutes
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Summary
When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can take on the role of fixer, solver, and just plain ‘figure-everything-out-and-make-everything-better-er’. Am I right?
We take on their addiction and with that, we take on lies and mistruths that lead our beliefs. The truth of it is that taking those on is harmful. It’s not beneficial to our healing.
When we can remove the goggles of their addiction and see the situation truly for what it is, we can let go of these lies and move forward in our own healing.
Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/3-biggest-lies-while-loving-an-alcoholic-or-substance-abuser/
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. Okay, are you ready to discuss the top three lies you might believe a loving an alcoholic or substance |
| 0:25.9 | abuser. Yes? Good. Okay, let's get started. Lie number one, it's my fault he drinks too much or uses drugs. |
| 0:37.0 | It was much easier to blame myself for his drinking issues and drug issues, then to think he was out of control. |
| 0:46.0 | I was willing to take the blame, to own the responsibility. |
| 0:51.0 | Somehow it was my fault. |
| 0:53.0 | Somehow, some way I caused this to happen. |
| 0:57.0 | What a scam. |
| 1:00.0 | What a big fat lie this disease tries to make you believe. |
| 1:05.0 | Are you taking the blame, my sweet friend? |
| 1:08.0 | Are you owning his baggage? |
| 1:10.9 | You can't. |
| 1:11.9 | You've got to lay it down because the last time I checked in with you |
| 1:16.2 | you weren't holding a bottle to his mouth. You weren't buying drugs and |
| 1:21.6 | suggesting to party. So you get angry. So what? Nobody who is |
| 1:28.4 | married to the craziness and dysfunction of this disease doesn't get angry. |
| 1:34.0 | Nobody. |
| 1:35.0 | Now, I'm not giving you permission to go all nuts on them, |
| 1:40.0 | but I am saying that anger is a really realistic reaction to his poor choices. |
| 1:47.0 | And that your anger is not the reason he drinks. |
| 1:52.0 | Let me repeat that. Your reactions to this disease are not the |
| 1:59.2 | reason he turns to the bottle or drugs or pornography or gambling. So trying harder or looking |
| 2:08.9 | for that, looking for that secret formula or fixing is not going to make a difference. |
... |
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