Thou shalt not be dumber than dirt

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 July 2023

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I take Scripture seriously and so I eat beef as it tells us we can in Leviticus, and I also eat salads but not Caesar salads because he was a pagan emperor, but I admit to giving in to wrath, which goes against Scripture. I do it again and again. Like you, I am a bundle of contradictions.Like many of my fellow Episcopalians, I maintain a progressive enlightened exterior while guarding my simple peasant biases such as my loathing of the use of fancy words like “ubiquitous” in simple conversation, it makes me want to give them a knuckle sandwich if it weren’t for the fact that I’m an author and must protect my hands. Or people who kill conversation by delivering extensive synopses of an article about political polarization that they’ve read recently — POW, right in the kisser.Garrison KeillorJason Keillor, EngineerJason Keillor, Original Music

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Transcript

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0:54.1	The bill in the Texas legislature to require public schools to post the 10 commandments
1:16.3	in every classroom. Means that teachers may need to explain to small children what adultery
1:25.9	means and also take the name of the Lord in vain, but the real problem is the commandment to remember
1:37.3	the Sabbath and keep it holy. A great many public schools and athletic teams to
1:45.5	compete in weekend tournaments that make it hard for players to make it home for the Sabbath,
1:54.3	especially if they're Jewish. In Texas, a conflict between football and religious faith is not
2:04.8	going to turn out well for religion. And taking the name of the Lord in vain is inextricably
2:14.8	intertwined with sports, golf, especially. I grew up among devout Christians who did not say
2:24.8	gosh or darn it because they took euphemisms seriously. My mother would say, oh, fudge,
2:34.2	but more likely, oh for pity sake, I'm an old man now and cursing still feels unnatural to me.
2:43.8	I'll bet plenty of Texas legislators voted for the 10 commandments bill who curse up a storm.
2:53.0	The tablets that God handed down to Moses did not constitute ten suggestions they are
3:01.3	commandments. I don't oppose posting the ten commandments. I only propose that they be taken
3:10.0	seriously. And it's hard to see how allowing people to shop on Sunday and order alcohol in
3:20.6	restaurants is keeping the Sabbath holy. I'm just saying it because it's true. I take scripture
3:29.3	seriously and so I eat beef as it tells us we can in Leviticus and I also eat salads but not
	...

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