We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 130. T.I.

0-209, certificate number 49600. Thomas the Tank Engine.

One day after pulling the Big Express, Gordon had arrived back at the sidings very tired.

He was just going to sleep when Thomas came up in his cheeky way.

Wake up lazybones, do some hard work for a change.

You can't catch me!

And off he ran laughing.

We're sometimes hard on different, I don't want to say targets or victims, but...

Are we? On this, uh, on these recordings.

I mean, we're hard on each other. We're hard on the recordings. I mean, we're hard on each other.

We're hard on the Italians.

Well,

unlike each other, they had it coming.

Never a people deserved it more.

I don't know who else we're hard on. We're hard on

...