You're listening to Comedy Central.

COVID-19.

According to the CDC, there are now six new variants,

all competing to become the dominant strain this winter.

What they don't realize is that they're all competing

with a strain that's already infected most of the country,

called the, I don't give a shit about any of this anymore strain.

Honestly, I feel a little bad for the variant

that becomes dominant now.

Yeah, because everyone has stopped caring.

It's kind of like, if you want an early season of American Idol,

then you were famous.

But if you win season 34 now,

it's just a story you tell your coworkers at the coffee machine.

You know?

And they're like, I'll have my D-Calf.

I haven't if you saw me last night, I won the American.

Okay, I'll have that report too soon. Thank you, sir.

But remember, to all those COVID variants,

competing against each other right now,

I just want you to remember,

it's not about winning or losing.

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