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Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO and Undoubtedly winner of Capitalism.

Like a lot of recently divorced middle-aged dudes, Bezos has been going through some stuff lately.

But unlike normal dudes, Bezos can't deal with his midlife crisis by just buying a sports car or brewing craft beer.

He's the world's richest man. So he's going to do something that's out of this world.

That's right people. Jeff Bezos is shipping himself into space.

You know who this is great news for? Elon Musk.

Because you realize for a few hours he can be like, haha, I'm now the richest man on earth.

Yes, the richest man. Ah, he's back. I'm going to go tweet about bitcoin now.

Now if you ask me, I think space travel is a natural fit for the founder of Amazon.

I mean, think about it. Astronauts are just workers who have to wear diapers because they don't get

bathroom breaks. So I mean, it makes total sense. My favorite part of the story though is that Jeff

Bezos' ship is auctioning off another seat for this trip. Why? Your Jeff Bezos.

Just pay the extra money to not sit with a stranger on a trip to space.

I mean, this is the culmination of your childhood dream. You don't want to spend it fighting over

the armrest. And I know $2.8 million sounds like a lot of money for a trip to space. But keep in mind,

that's basically how much it costs to change your flight ununited. Actually, in order to be amazing,

we should all get together and we start to go find me. We'll be by that second seat and we give

it to Bernie Sanders. Man, that would be a trip. That's flight could have paid for everyone's

healthcare. But oh, you had to see the stars up close and why is space so cold? Somebody turn up

the damn thermostat. Let's move on now to the big political news out of the United States Senate.

The political body most likely to need your help with resetting their microwave clocks.

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