This Week's Top Stories | Biden Continues Building a Portion of Trump's Wall
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Comedy Central
4.2 • 14.2K Ratings
🗓️ 6 August 2022
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | You're listening to Comedy Central. |
| 0:02.6 | BAM! |
| 0:03.6 | BAM! |
| 0:04.6 | MUSIC |
| 0:04.6 | First things first. |
| 0:11.6 | According to astronomers, the Earth is actually spinning faster than ever before. |
| 0:18.6 | And because of that, it recently set the record for the shortest day ever. |
| 0:23.2 | Yeah, June 29th was apparently 1.59 milliseconds shorter than a normal day. |
| 0:28.8 | Yeah. |
| 0:29.8 | And that's how you know things are going bad. |
| 0:33.0 | Even the Earth is like, all right, let's wrap this up. |
| 0:34.6 | Let's go. |
| 0:35.6 | Let's keep things moving. |
| 0:36.6 | Let's keep things going. |
| 0:37.6 | 1.59 milliseconds faster. |
| 0:39.6 | I mean, you do know what this means, right? |
| 0:41.6 | We'll get to leave work 1.59 milliseconds earlier. |
| 0:44.2 | Yeah, baby! |
| 0:45.2 | I'm gone! |
| 0:46.2 | It also gives people a great excuse if they get pulled over. |
| 0:52.6 | It's like, sure, if you've been drinking, no, the Earth is spinning super fast, man. |
| 0:56.2 | It's making me dizzy, man. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Comedy Central, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Comedy Central and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

