Hello internet. Thoughts compete for space in your brain. Cat photos, news stories, belief structures, funny gifts, educational videos, not so educational videos, and your thinking inventory is limited.

A thought without a brain to think it dies. Now we can treat thoughts as though they're alive, specifically alive like germs.

That might sound weird, but stick with me. Take jokes. Jokes are thought germs that live in your brain, and when you tell the joke to another brain, you help it to reproduce, just like when you have the flu and sneeze to help it reproduce.

This germ gets into its host by snot through the mouth and this one by words through the ear, but its reproduction either way.

Logging onto your social media then is exposing yourself

to everyone's mental sneezes. Each post, a glob of snot with a thought germ trying to get

into your brain. If not for permanent residents, then at least long enough to get you to press

the share button and sneeze it with everyone you know. In this analogy, then, a funny cat photo with

the perfect caption is a superflu.

Now, just as germs exploit weak points in your immune system, so do thought germs exploit

weak points in your brain, aka emotions. Once inside, thought germs that press emotional

buttons get their hosts to spread them more, measurably more. Well, except sadness. Sad

thoughts don't get very far.

Aw is pretty good, which is why websites that construct thought germs like biological weapons

arm them with titles like seven whatever's that will blow your mind or the shocking secret behind this thing.

But anger is the ultimate edge for a thought germ. Anger bypasses your mental immune system and compels you to share it like nothing else.

Being aware of your brain's weak spots is necessary for good mental health, like knowing how to

wash your hands. Because even without intentional construction, any thought germ on the internet

can on its own grow more infectious as it spreads. To talk about why, let's forget anger for a moment

and go back to that cat photo.

Every photo ever taken is a thought germ, and most die a quick death like the bazillion

cat photos, or baby photos, posted on the internet that are never shared.

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