I bet your little Asian fish head wife doesn't have these cannons. Um, excuse me, what's the actual? I mean, guys, my jaw was on the freaking floor. I have to pull this back out again. I mean, days since talking about sexual perverts, we're back. We are back down to freaking zero. Now, if you guys did not see what I just read to you over the weekend. I want to say congratulations. You kicked more

rocks, you touched more grass than I did over the past few days because this might be one of the top

five most insane stories I have ever come across and each time something new came out, I was just

more and more flabbergasted. So let's just get into it. This is the J.P. Morgan employee who

filed a sexual assault lawsuit against his female superior and how 24 hours later, everything fell apart. Now before we dive into this, as a reminder, if you guys are in the Greater Nashville, Middle Tennessee area, I will be back at Zanee's May 19th if you want to come out and see me live. It's a super fun show. It's like this, but a ton of topics and we just have a great time and I just riff on things. I have a lot of fun doing it. I love getting to see all of your beautiful faces. So come on out. Zanies May 19th. All right. So this insane story was originally published by the Daily Mail. I think it came out on Thursday or Friday. And as I said, a male banker accused

one of the female executives at J.P. Morgan of sexual assault and harassment and of drugging him. I mean, it's just insane. So let me read you these allegations because, again, you're unbridled absurdity. So let me just read you some of these allegations. All right. So Daily Mail writes, In early May 24, Doe alleges that Houdini, that's the last name of this associate, dropped her pen on the floor deck to his desk, and while bending over to pick it up, rubbed his leg and squeezed his calf. I mean, what is this? Like legally blonde, bend and snap. That's what we're saying here. He claims that she then remarked, oh, did you play basketball in college? I love basketball players.

They get me so wet. Right, later that may, Doe said in the complaint that Houdini invited him out

for drinks, but he declined. In response, she is alleged to have said, if you don't F me soon,

I am going to ruin you. Never forget, I effing own you. Twice, Doe claims that Hajdini

propositioned him for oral sex in the office, on one occasion asking Birthday BJ for the brown boy, my little brown boy. I mean, again, just, it's, this is freaky. I should have said viewer discretion, but this is just weird. While Doe complains that he continued to resist her advances, Hajdini allegedly threatened professional retribution, telling him that if he wanted to be promoted to executive director, he would need to start pleasing her, according to the lawsuit.

We're going to need to earn it, my little Arab boy toy. Dau alleges that she told him during a work social event at her private members club. During the same event, he claims that she repeatedly groped his groin under the table and spat on her hands, running them over his neck and head.

He also claimed that Hajdini admitted to drugging him with the date-rape drug and other drugs without his knowledge.

Apparently, Viagra was one of the drugs.

He apparently said, I am very uncomfortable, please, Lorna, that's her first name, Lorna, Hedini.

But she allegedly laughed before making a racist

remark that at least his genitals don't taste like curry, according to the complaints. Now,

all of that is on top of her allegedly calling his wife a fish-faced woman with smaller boobs

than her, which is what I read to you at the beginning. So again, this is just, like, it is insane

allegation after insane

allegation. Like is this real or is this a scene out of the most insane porno you could ever

concoct in your mind? Basically, that is what people on the internet were trying to decipher.

So this was a lawsuit. It is a civil suit. It was filed anonymously by a John Doe.

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