this episode that you're about to hear was filmed weeks and weeks ago and it's

just now airing but it was filmed before Nick Cordellus passed away and this

episode I do mention my current relationship and before airing it I just wanted

to you know we took a break last week we didn't air anything but that was

because I wanted to respect Nick his family just everyone involved and

everyone that's hurting with his passing right now and I do speak about my

current relationship but I'm also still mourning the loss of someone who

meant the absolute world to me Nick and I were in each other's lives for six

years we were engaged there were so many great memories and at the end of

today Nick made a huge impact on my life and he left such a mark on this

world I mean I cannot tell you how many people have reached out and told me

stories about how Nick impacted their life and if his passing teaches us

anything I think it's to love and love hard and to treat people with so

much love and kindness because that's exactly what he did so Nick I love you

you'll be missed and you left a mark well I'm back guys I'm back we're doing a

solo episode it's been a long time since we've done one of these and I feel

like they're kind of needed like as a regroup every few months to set the

record straight on a lot of things since last time I mean a lot of things have

come out and the public and it's been a interesting week we could say obviously

special forces airs on the 25th so when you hear this it will actually have

already aired and I am so excited it was such a crazy journey I mean I went

into it not gonna lie I went into it like kind of cocky confident like oh I'm

...