This just in…don’t tell your children you are proud of them!
Zen Pop
Todd and Cathy Adams
4.9 • 637 Ratings
🗓️ 17 April 2012
⏱️ 30 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Yes, you read that right. Instead of telling your children you are proud, why not ask them how they feel about what they did? Instead of having them impress you, why don’t you ask them to reflect on their sense of accomplishment? It’s a great way to get them intrinsically motivated! Cathy and Todd also discuss how you can listen, validate, and normalize while still saying NO. Being respectful to your children does not mean you say yes all the time, it means you are authentic, kind and in charge – which means sometimes they will inevitably hear NO.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is M Parenting Radio. My name is Todd Adam. |
| 0:11.8 | This is Kathy Adams. And welcome back for our next installment of the show. Oh, boy. We're |
| 0:17.2 | getting off to that kind of start. We're going to have some revelations you had because you did a women's workshop this weekend. |
| 0:22.9 | I did. |
| 0:23.6 | And it gave you some good ideas on how to talk to folks that you talked to. |
| 0:29.2 | Well, yes. |
| 0:31.9 | That's interesting. |
| 0:34.1 | Yes, it did. |
| 0:35.5 | But really what I wanted to focus on was a comment that comes up quite a bit, not just in this workshop, but in a lot of the workshops that I do, where, you know, what are the things you and I talk about the most with kids? Like, what does your shirt say? You're wearing a Zen Parenting Radio shirt, and what does it say? A very comfortable is in parenting radio shirts and very stylish very |
| 0:54.4 | stylish um what does it say I listen I listen right so we say that all the time to parents will say |
| 1:00.6 | listen to your kids validate your kids normalize what they're saying hear them you know we go on and |
| 1:06.5 | on with that and the importance and what I usually usually hear back from parents in workshops and every time |
| 1:13.7 | we discuss these things is, yeah, I'm going to listen. But at some point, you got to just lay the |
| 1:18.6 | hammer down. And at some point, you got to have a boundary. And at some point, you got to say no. |
| 1:22.7 | And I always get really flustered because in listening to your child, that doesn't mean you don't say no. |
| 1:29.4 | Right. And listening to your child doesn't mean you don't set boundaries. And listening to your |
| 1:33.3 | child doesn't mean that you don't sometimes say enough. Do you think that you're saying in this |
| 1:38.5 | workshop that you're not communicating effectively or do you think some of the people in the workshop |
| 1:42.3 | have preconceived notions of what |
| 1:44.6 | you mean before they actually hear what you have to say? I think it's a little of both. I think one of the |
| 1:49.8 | things I'm searching for is how to speak to this and talk about listening and validating without |
| 1:54.9 | people assuming that means that you're not being a parent and enforcing consequences or setting those boundaries. |
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