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The Ezra Klein Show

This Is Why I Find Pema Chödrön So Essential

The Ezra Klein Show

New York Times Opinion

News, Government, Society & Culture

4.314.5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2026

⏱️ 74 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do you do when you feel anxious or insecure? Many of us try to push the feeling away, or we ruminate on it, or try to solve it, or avoid the thought altogether. But what would happen if we did the exact opposite? The Buddhist nun and teacher Pema Chödrön is the author of many beloved books, including “When Things Fall Apart,” “Welcoming the Unwelcome” and — my personal favorite — “Comfortable With Uncertainty.” And she has a way of inviting people to befriend the parts of life that typically induce dread — from uncertainty and suffering to loss and discomfort. And she argues that the process of sitting with these experiences and emotions actually releases their power over us. In a time as chaotic and tumultuous as ours, she has so much practical wisdom to share. In this conversation, she shares what it looks like to actually let go of difficult emotions, the art of “collaborating with reality” when things don’t go as expected, and how to awaken yourself to the “nowness” of life. Mentioned: Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chödrön When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön Welcoming the Unwelcome by Pema Chödrön Another Kind of Freedom by Pema Chödrön Book Recommendations: Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chögyam Trungpa Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki Enlightened Vagabond by Matthieu Ricard Thoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at ezrakleinshow@nytimes.com. You can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of “The Ezra Klein Show” at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs. This episode of “The Ezra Klein Show” was produced by Kristin Lin. Fact-checking by Kim Freda. Our senior engineer is Jeff Geld, with additional mixing by Johnny Simon. Our recording engineer is Johnny Simon. Our executive producer is Claire Gordon. The show’s production team also includes Marie Cascione, Annie Galvin, Michelle Harris, Rollin Hu, Emma Kehlbeck, Jack McCordick, Marina King and Jan Kobal. Original music by Diane Wong, Dan Powell and Pat McCusker. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta. The director of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser.

Transcript

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0:00.0

The

0:07.0

The There's this book I love, and I go back to him back to, called Comfortable with Uncertainty.

0:36.8

It's by the Buddhist teacher Pema Chodran, who's also written really, really, really well-known, beloved books,

0:43.3

like, When Things Fall Apart and Welcoming the Unwelcome.

0:47.3

But this particular book resonates with me, in part because of the title.

0:52.3

It has been a real revelation of my own life how uncomfortable

0:57.5

I was with uncertainty. How many places I didn't go, how many things I didn't do, how many

1:02.9

conversations I wouldn't have, because I just couldn't control the way they would turn out.

1:08.4

And just knowing that, just feeling uncertain, feeling a little afraid, was enough

1:14.0

for me to avoid the thing altogether. But you get older and you begin realizing how much there

1:19.2

is that you can't avoid. You realize that discomfort is going to come for you whether you want

1:23.5

or not. I think it's easy to go pretty far with the illusion, that you can control what

1:29.0

is happening around you, that there is some set of decisions you can make or choices you can make,

1:35.1

find the people, the partner, the job, the success, the whatever, they'll keep you safe.

1:40.8

And then you keep getting older, and you realize it's not going to happen,

1:45.2

that things are going to keep falling apart,

1:47.7

and coming back together, and then coming apart again,

1:50.3

that there's no stable ground in the end to stand on.

1:53.2

And so you have to have some real relationship with uncertainty,

1:55.9

with discomfort, with pain, with suffering, with loss.

1:59.7

And I've just found children's books and work to be maybe better than anything else

2:06.4

for trying to force, at least me, into some more truthful relationship with that,

...

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