How have you responded to what felt like catastrophic failures? How did you process not getting the job you applied for or seeing your business and efforts fall apart? What is the best way to respond when people you love doubt you will ever find success because of your past failures? In this Q & A, Tom breaks down how to reframe and learn from your failures by interrupting the wrong thoughts, and seeing what you can do better next time. He reveals exactly why having people you love doubt you can be the gift anyone can possibly offer you. Being mindful that failure is a lesson and not an experience to be tied to or defined by will help you embrace the gift of failure, which exists to help you acquire skills faster. Tom’s is sharing exactly how you can have mind blowing success and surpass everyone’s expectations, even your own.

SHOW NOTES:

Reacting | Respond to setbacks, negativity and failure with ‘Good’ [1:48]
Do it Different | Tom breaks down the reason you can see failures and say ‘good’ [6:07]
Assess Failure | This is how you assess failure and expose the flaws in your strategy [6:32]
4 Steps | Tom lays out complete strategy to beat failure for the long-term game [7:17]
Biological Experience | Understand your brain and learning to disrupt approach [9:58]
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy | Tom explains the value of pattern interrupting [12:08]
Reframing | Tom on how to reframe failed business venture entering job market [16:15]
Hard Skills | Tom exposes why getting good at the hard things is necessary to win [17:14]
Moving Forward | It takes doing what moves you toward your goal & reframing failure [22:21]
3rd Door | Tom breaks down what it takes to find your path to the seemingly impossible [25:06]
Belief in Yourself | How people’s doubt for you is a gift when you’re not good enough yet [35:03]

QUOTES:

“the very way that we bounce back from failure, is by looking exclusively at what we can do differently.” [5:44]

“whenever a strategy yields a result, different than the desired result, then you know, this strategy is, by definition, wrong.” [6:38]

“Yes, it's hard. Getting good at shit is hard, outperforming other people is hard. But if you want to win, you've got to do hard shit.” [17:58]

“This is like one of the key insights of my life. You should only ever do and believe that which moves you towards your goal.” [22:21]

“If you can add value to people, then you can build an ecosystem.” [23:36]

“When we are young, we can become anything. But as we age, we become something specific. And there's a death in that.” [25:06]

“when you've had a tremendous failure, to recognize that you've got to get so hard core that people would sooner believe that it's magic than that you just work that hard.” [30:02]

“...failure is only permanent, if that's what you choose to believe. Reframe it, recognize you have power, recognize you have control over what you do, and recognize that if you leave people in awe [...] the only way to really have mind blowing success in life is to set the bar ridiculously high, and then surpass all expectations.” [33:20]

“the greatest gift anyone can ever give you is doubt.” [35:03]

“These people had not misidentified me. I just wasn't good enough yet.” [37:21]

Check out Jocko Willink’s excerpt on “Good”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8